I'm Back!

So, funny story...

I had something called a "brain bleed" which caused me to go "kind of crazy" for a short period of time. Luckily this fantastic family called the "O'Leary's" (who go by the names of Nicole, Pat, Steve and Jen) brought me back from Crazytown USA and back to Winnipeg Manitoba Canada (aka: Sanityville). I'm sure glad they did because being sane is a pretty sweet deal.

I won't go into all of the details, as I honestly don't remember all of the details. In brief it all started on Friday night. Nicole and I went shopping at St. Vital mall when I'm told I started to show signs of a mild seizure and cognitive impairment. Thankfully she brought me back to the apartment and called 9-1-1. I don't think the show is still on the air, otherwise I'd tell you to watch for William Shatner on the TV to tell you all about it (a Rescue 9-1-1 joke). I had told the paramedics who arrived that I felt fine and did not wish to go to the hospital. They said it was my choice, but subtly tried to convince me by saying that if something happened to me and it came about that they didn't take me, it could mean/look bad on them. Nicole was also trying to convince me that in her opinion I should go. I gave in and figured I might as well just go and let them tell me I was fine.

At the HSC they thought I might have pneumonia so they took a chest x-ray and also (another) CT scan. I spent yet another anti-comfortable (uncomfortable?) night, this time in "observation", at the Health Sciences Centre. I had a great time with a nurse who put a butterfly needle in me as though my skin was actually concrete and thus required a full force shove to break the surface. Good thing there are no nerve endings in the hand? I just remember thinking "I wish Steph was the one doing this". Eventually the doctor came in and told me the results of the CT scan showed I had a small brain bleed, which would probably go away on its own though slowly. They put me back on my trusty Dexamethasone to reduce the swelling in/on my brain and released me back into the real world.

While I was still in observation at the HSC I remember experiencing strong déjà vu, which could be explained by my many stays at the hospitla previously. This is where I think I started to lose my grip on reality just a tad. I started to get this "déjà vu" feeling more and more often. Jen and Randy and my Mom stopped in for a visit this evening. I started to experience more and more anxiety as everything seemed to be history repeating itself. Everything that was happening had happened but not in the same setting. I don't know when it hit me but I figured out that I was stuck in some alternate reality (be it another dimension or parallel universe or the Matrix... you can pretty much pick your favourite sci-fi movie/series here). This lead right into Saturday night's wild & crazy dreams (along the lines of what I assume a meth addict might dream). I took these dreams as my reality which was the scariest thing I've possibly ever experienced (though I'll get to a scarier moment in a bit). I think I wrote a whole blog post about it so refer to that so I don't have to retype it. I woke up many many times thinking I'd lost Nicole forever (not that I was dying, just that I would never have Nicole remember me ever ever again). It sucked to be her because I kept waking her up every time I woke up! I didn't feel bad about it because I knew each "Nicole" I was waking up was a different Nicole, and thus I wasn't ruining any one specific Nicole's sleep. Get it? If not you probably haven't taken enough cocaine. I'll pause so you can do a line of the wacky dust and then return to see if it all makes more sense...

So where were we? Oh right, so the purple monkeys were riding the rainbow dragons throwing their flaming gophers. I mean, finally morning came and Nicole and my Mom were kind enough to take me for CT scan #2 at the hospital. The idea was that they would compare the two CT scans to see if things were getting worse or better or not changing. The results showed things were about the same (which was deemed to be good news) and I was let out into the world once again. My Mom got me some Tim Horton's as Nicole and I joined her in the food court. This is where things really started to fall apart for me. In my dreams I was switching between dimensions. Now I was switching moods without my conscious control. There was a "happy Tom" and a "sad/angry Tom" who would switch back and forth without me being able to control it. Jen joined us in the food court too and they all watched as I very distinctly started to go from being happy/optimistic (I'll live forever!) to sad/angry/depressed (I'm going to die very soon).

I had my Mom take out a notepad so that I could record how often these "changes" were occurring. It turned out that after a while I could control the changes and could will myself into "happy Tom" but this only worked for a while. It all hit me on the car ride back to our apartment with my Mom driving that when looking at my log of moods that my changes were occurring more and more frequently. Upon arriving at the apartment I had good/bad mood time averages of 2 hours, then 1 hour, then half that, then maybe 12 minutes, then I started to "switch" every two minutes, etc. I deduced that once these times hit zero I was going to die. I panicked realizing Nicole and I were going to miss our own Wedding date. I was overcome with emotional grief and pain and above all else a sense of panic. I told Jen to call her parents RIGHT NOW and get them to the apartment NOW (they were already on their way) so they could witness our wedding which I would do myself. I announced to my Mom and Jen that I was going to die today and realized Nicole was sleeping in the bedroom. I think I asked Jen if she was certified to marry us (she told me she was not) and so I decided to do it myself. So (and picture this from her perspective) I barged into the room screaming at her to wake up telling her I was dying and that there was no time to explain. She didn't believe me so I told her that didn't matter and to just get up so that I could marry her. I called for my Mom and Jen and once they were in the room asked Nicole "Do you? (just say YES)" and then I said "I do too!" and then ran to give my Mom and Jen a hug.

I decided I wanted to die lying next to my love so I laid down next to her to await my fate. When Nicole's parents arrived I asked Nicole if it would be ok to go talk to them, so I ran over to give them hugs and talk to them for a while. I kept switching between my personalities, but eventually left back to nap with Nicole. My memory of this part is vague to say the least, but at one point something Nicole said had me convinced I had calculated my life expectancy wrong and I was actually dying right then. I woke up from a nap with her and found my vision was off (I saw black with some fractal type patterns). I perceived this to be my own death beginning. I gave Nicole one last hug and kiss and ran off to try to give everyone in the living room (Pat, Steve, Jen, and my Mom) a hug before it was too late. I made it to the floor where I collapsed and announced while crying that this was it, I was dying right now.

I made it to the couch where I tried to commentate my own death for everyone present. I told them I did not see a white light and only had a slight pain in my head. I warned them I would start to lose my senses one by one and would eventually stop breathing. At one point I forgot the months of the year and took this as the end of my cognitive functions. They offered me pizza which I refused as I was a afraid of having the pizza half way down my throat as I lost the ability to swallow. I told them I had 5 minutes to live. After 6 minutes it became obvious I might be wrong. By 15 minutes things were looking up for me living, but down for my math skills. After an hour I think I broke down and ate a tiny tiny piece of pizza. I kept questioning how I was still alive. I had an intense discussion with Pat about the swelling in my brain and how the dexamethasone might help. At 10am the doctors had given me one 4mg tablet to reduce the swelling.

I was convinced that I was minutes away from death and that the only thing that might save me would be more Dex. Long story short I was still alive and continued to do so well into the day/night.

I started to lose it late in the evening and decided everyone was trying to trick me somehow and that I needed to prove them wrong. I was dying and they needed to know it. I started to do some crazy things that at the time made sense but now seem good & crazy including:
-Ran into my office and took a pair of scissors to a set of headphones and shredded them to pieces.
-Considered running out of the apartment to meet Nicole's Dad in the car where he was waiting for us without my jacket on and at one point even naked.
-Considered trying to kill myself to end the suffering I knew I was putting Nicole and my whole family through.

Somehow Nicole and her family stopped all of my suicide attempts because their not only amazing, their super people. They monitored my every move, and seemed to know exactly what I was doing. They went so far as to remove all of the sharp objects and pills from the bathroom upstairs (which explains why I couldn't find any when I tried). I ultimately decided I couldn't kill myself because I didn't "know know know" I was dying, I just thought I "knew knew knew almost knew" I was. So I couldn't take the chance of killing myself if there was even a 1% chance I was wrong. Plus even if I was 100% right I know some religions believe suicide victims don't go to heaven, and I couldn't rob myself of that opportunity if it was to be the case. I'm glad I made that decision. I think a lot of other people are too.

Somehow I allowed myself to be convinced to go to bed as this would help me get better. A somewhat restless night saw me wake up convinced I had maybe one more day to live. By noon and some waffles I realized I was being ridiculous. I'm now sitting here at 2:30 pm having enjoyed a wonderful breakfast and lunch with the O'Leary's who have taken care of me all day :) :) :) I owe them some popscicles or something I think ;)

Lastly I wanted to make a point. This whole experience was surprisingly analogous to the depression I went through last year (which of course may have been caused by my tumour). In both cases my behaviour was out of my control and incredibly scary and painful to live through. In both cases I was conscious that talking about my situation might be "taboo" by society's standards, but I didn't let that stop me (either time) from talking about it. In both cases I needed the help of friends and family to get me through it, and in both cases they were successful. Lesson learned? Don't be afraid to speak out about problems you are facing in your life. It isn't always "your fault" and can be caused by factors beyond your control. People in your life are there to help you and want to help you, so don't feel guilty about accepting their help. I have no shame in discussing any of this.

I should also wrap up by pointing out that I made some rather interesting Facebook/Blog posts while in some of my more delusional states. Nicole was kind enough to post a warning about ignoring some of these. I made one comment that implied I had beaten my "terminal cancer". Rest assured I do still have cancer. It is still terminal. And I will still live for a very long time for it takes me down. I still have my secret cancer fighting medication that no one else has... Nicole O'Leary. Sorry to everyone else who has brain cancer... I'm not sharing her ;)
--
Tom

PS: I was serious when I said I love you all.

Thoughts

Each breath of air is a precious gift from God, it's hard to measure my recent time in breaths, but if measured in days instead I owe the _______ O'Leary (you pick) a Gregorian Calendar's worth of days :)

Update again:

I got the results of the CT scan back... all seems well they say! Awesome news for me :) Keep you posted all!
--
Tom

Hey Everyone!

Update: So I have a brain bleed which is causing some pressure on my brain leading me to experience some pretty lifelike dreams and hallucinations. I think I made a post during one of these so please ignore it for my sake. I'm off to the HSC now for my CT scan to see if I can get this all sorted. Pray for me please and I shall let you all know how it goes!
--
Tom

I'm in a bubble

Time for the funniest story of Tom's crazy dream world I could ever tell. I will no longer be afraid to grow old and die, as I have done it 300+ times over tonight. Make sense? It shouldn't. Because I'm fricken' crazy!!! Long story short? I'll try…

So I'll start with an update on my condition. I really don't know how I'm doing right now. The doctors think I may have a small bleed in my brain which is why I'm going back to the HSC this morning for another CT scan so they can see if things have gotten worse, stayed the same, or not changed at all. Meanwhile, I suppose this brain bleed has the potential to push on my brain much in the same way the tumour does, thus can cause me to experience some odd effects, which I most certainly did repeatedly (just now). Let the crazy talk begin…

I just woke up from what might have been my 300th dream in a row where I was in an alternate reality or universe (if you will) where Nicole didn't really know me. Everytime I woke up the world was the same but for the people around me who no longer knew who I was. It was really like living the same nightmare over 300+ times but they were all turned into sweet dreams by one Nicole O'Leary, who I think I just woke up over 300 times in the past couple of hours. Here's how it all went down. I knew in reality that I had experienced the whole "brain bleed" once before (a seriously convincing case of de ja vu). I also determined that I no longer had a cancerous brain tumour (and in fact never did have one. I had simply made the whole thing up either consciously or subconsciously for some odd reason). The scary part was that each time I woke up Nicole had no idea who I was. It was as though we had never met and she was scarred of me. I have never been so heartbroken in all of my life. The worst part was that if I started crying she didn't understand why even if I tried to explain it to her, because of course I was just speaking gibberish to a woman who was on less than an hour's worth of sleep. God bless Nicole for having the strength and patience to "humour" crazy Tom and say "Ok Tom, I know you're just in a bubble right now." Just try and get some sleep ok? And each time would play along with my crazy crazy nightmarish dreams. For that she is and will always be a complete saint and the love of my life… now and forever! She currently sits in our bedroom believing I am minutes away from death with a severe blood clot in my lung but I refuse to go to the hospital (as it does not exist beyond the bubble of a dream I am currently in). This is why I will beat this brain cancer and spend forever with her. How could any man not do the same. Thank you Nicole, you are more than I deserve and could ever have asked for. You are 1 in 1,000,000 (even better than the odds of getting Glioblastoma Multiforme if I do recall correctly). Sorry for messing up your already incredibly short sleep cycle my love ;) See you in the morning… just kidding! Dark humour I know, but it is all I have left without you :(

Cheers!

--

Tom

So I've forever lost my lovely Nicole, but at least I got to spend like 300+ crazy days with her before it all came to a far too abrupt end. I had to finally let her get her much needed rest as it is now 2:30am and my Mom will be arriving at the apartment in less than 7 hours to take us to the HSC for my CT scan. I don't fully know what damage a brain bleed can do but I'm hoping it's not too much as I can't imagine not being here for my Nicole. On the plus side as I mentioned above I feel like I've just spent 300+ lifetimes with her (IN A ROW!) which is something I could not have done here on Earth as hard as I might have tried!

I'm a douche. I'm putting Nicole through hell. Everyone Please lookafter her when I'm gone, which will be soon (I fear). She deserves so much better than me. She deserves the sun and the moon and all of the stars in the sky. An maybe a better looking boyfriend too ;) I think I was none too shabby though. Alas I keep looking for clues that these dreams are real but can find none to be had. Perhaps I must take the world as it comes. A glorious mess. I can accept my fate whenever it awaits me, for I have spent my time beside an angel while here on Earth! I owe you everything Nicole. Do not grieve me, any longer than it might seem necessary, which I'd give a couple of hours (though no more). Cheers Everyeone! See you tomorrow!

PS: Go to bed people! It's late! ;)

Sup y'al?

So it is February 13th, 2011 meaning it is Stuart's Birthday (an inside joke for those of you in my family) and/or the day before Valentine's Day. I had some free time (not really but I was tired of working on my Finance homework) so I figured I'd post another update.

ME LATELY: Things are still going wonderfully well! I'm finished the radiation and the chemo, which means I've also been cut back to only two kinds of meds (my anti-seizure meeds and my blood thinner injection). Speaking of which, I should have Nicole stab me in the stomach with a sharp pointy object before we both get too tired. BRB ("Be Right Back" for those of you who aren't hip like me)!

Sweet! I now have Dalteparin Sodium flowing through me! And a slight hole next to my belly button. THANKS NICOLE! So where was I? Right! Down to only a few meds which makes life a little easier for Nicole and I. The docs are also happy with my Dilantin levels meaning I DO NOT have to go for weekly blood tests anymore. All I gots coming up now is an MRI on the 8th of March @ 7:00 pm, which I'm looking forward to and Nicole is terrified for. Why? This will tell us how everything has gone in the last three months… maybe/sort of. They tell us that there's a chance the MRI will show the tumour as being worse than it was before, but that that might be a good thing. Sounds crazy (and Nicole understands it better than I as she is the "research girl") but I think it comes down to "things looking worse before they get better". Meaning the MRI could show things looking not so great, but in actual fact the treatments could have been doing their job splendidly. So a "bad" MRI isn't necessarily a sign that things aren't going well. Sort of like getting an "F" on a midterm but your prof telling you that there is a shot you might just pull out an A+ on the final. Of course there is always the chance you're just an idiot and will fail the final and the course, which if you the follow the metaphor is why Nicole is not looking forward to the results. Sometimes no news is better than bad news, though this is news we cannot avoid.

To get serious for a bit (me? serious? weird eh?) I wanted to discuss the impact this has had on Nicole and I. I'll be conceited and start with myself:

I have a tumour in my head. It is cancerous and sucks. I do not like it. Beyond that I am not tremendously affected by it. Ok, I take some pills every day, and have some bruises around my belly button from some needle injections, but really that's about it. Still no headaches, no nausea, no real fatigue to speak of, and now that treatments are done (for now) I assume my easy ride will continue. I even have some (small) hairs growing back in where the old ones fell out. The skin on my head is a bit dry and uncomfortable, but not noticeably so. I'm sure people would say "But aren't you horribly depressed/upset about your condition?" Answer: No. I know I should be, but I am not. I think I went through a phase of being torn between the acceptance of death on the one hand, and want to have a strong will to live on the other. I had a metaphor in my head of the person who "doesn't care if they get fired" [from their job]. Let's say Steve (my imaginary friend) who works as a pizza delivery boy no longer cares if he gets fired. He's probably not going to bother running those yellows, or smiling each time he delivers a fresh pizza pie. He'll probably coast until finally he pushes things to far and loses his job. I didn't want to be Steve. What I realized (after a while) is that my metaphor of Steve is not comparable to me and thoughts of death vs. life. I can accept "death" without giving up on "life". I'm like Steve who still delivers the pizzas in under 20 minutes, but is "ok" with the prospect of losing his job. The "ok" definitely deserves quotation marks, because in no way is it an easy thing to admit or deal with. I don't want to die. Ever. But who does? And I still 110% want to live (210% even… suck on that pro hockey players!) So I can enjoy every day knowing it might all come to an end for me soon, but that that knowledge won't prevent me from enjoying each of those from now until the [possible] then.

Nicole: I don't want to talk too openly about the details of Nicole's life as that is her story to tell. What I can say is that this is all tremendously difficult on her. Far more difficult for her than it is for me. She has been doing fantastically well at dealing with this all as of late (and I give her so much credit for that) but I know it still kills her inside each and every day. She is grieving my loss before I am even gone, which I wish she wouldn't, but I know neither one of us can stop. I don't blame her, and I assume I would do the same if I were in her position. The funny thing is that Nicole constantly apologizes to me. She says "Sorry" after each nightly injection (even though I couldn't do it on my own). She says "Sorry" after each time she cries. She says  "Sorry" after telling me NOT to have that sugar laced desert even though she does it to keep me healthy/alive. I have to tell her each time NOT to be sorry, as I [think] I know [somewhat] what she is going through and that there is no need for her to apologize for anything. She also states that she does not know why people give her so much credit for helping me. I will tell her and all of you that she deserves more credit that she receives [if that is possible]. Returning to my life/death thoughts from above, I have an amazing will to live. I think I would have a will to live regardless of anything (because living is AWESOME! and way more fun than the alternative), but knowing how hard losing me would be on Nicole gives me 1,000,000 times more fight than I would otherwise have. Spending 5 or 10 years with Nicole would be a bajillion times better than only a few months or years with her. It is for that reason that she deserves all of the praise (on top of taking care of my meds and bringing me freshly cut fruit). I know everyone says things like this, but I know I'm right when I say that Nicole is my soul mate and the one person I am meant to be with. I could not (and would not want to) do this without her. I have promised her I will be here for her forever, and I intend to keep that promise.

To put it another (perhaps more blunt way) I have the easiest job of anyone. I just have to live my life and enjoy myself! The people around me (with Nicole at the top of the list) have to deal with a whole lot more. They have to deal with the prospect of losing me, and were it to happen, the aftermath of it all. I remember how hard it was when my Dad passed away over 5 years ago from a brain aneurism. One day he was here, and the next he was not. The result was everything changing. It meant losing the family home out in the country. It meant adjusting to "not having a Dad". I can't begin to imagine how hard it was for my Mom, nor how she deals with it to this day. I don't have to deal with that.

To brighten the mood a tad, things look to be on track for both Nicole & I's wedding social (March 18th details for which can be found here: http://www.tomnicolesweddingsocial.com/) and our actual wedding (details to be determined and invites yet to be printed or sent) on May 21st. I can't wait to enjoy these events with Nicole and all of you!

Also, I spent an evening with Nicole at her parents for a night of Rummoli with the extended O'Leary family. Thanks to all who were there, as it was a fantastic evening and one I enjoyed tremendously. It is nights like those which make me glad to be alive and still around to enjoy all of this. They are surely amongst the best times I've had in my life. Thank you everyone once again, and I'll be sure to keep you posted as usual.

--

Tom

PS: Happy (almost) Valentine's Day my lovely Fiancé! <3

A longer sort of update...

So Tom is officially FANTASTIK (to make the cleaning solution pun I was going for two blogs ago more appropriate)!

I was feeling like garbage for a few days in a row there but I’m back to being gold! And my name isn’t even Ponyboy? Sweet.

Just spent an evening with two of the greatest people on Earth. They happen to be a couple and thus they are one of the coolest couples on Earth. Yes I am speaking about Tim & Jasmine, who were kind enough to grace Nicole and I with the presence for an evening. Good times were had by all and it is possible my toilet-seat-down ratio will improve from this point on! I must put a shout out to the S&M Inc. who are clearly also in the running for best couple ever (will call it a tie for now so as not to sever any of my friendships). Good friends + Good food = Good fun!

I’m now listening to “Rock ‘n’ Roll (Part 2)” which came up on my playlist after Kenny Roger’s “The Gambler” so you know I’m in a good mood! They keep cutting down the number of pills I’m taking so I’m not sure if you can consider me a drug addict at this point. Once I’m off my steroid and antibiotic I’ll be down to two types of pills daily and one injection. So I’m practically “clean” :)

My MRI is scheduled scheduled for March 8th @ 7pm (though I don’t think it’ll be a televised event so no need to mark your calendars). Now until then = the ultimate waiting game to see how things have gone. Actually I’m totally lying. March 8th represents the BEGINNING of the waiting game as the results probably won’t be ready right away, and knowing the scan has been done but we don’t know what it looks like will be the excruciating part. C’est la vie. Until then I work on keeping my Tumour in check by mentally trying to kill it somehow. I think if I scrunch my face like I’m trying to think really hard things should go well.

For those who might ask “What happens then?” I think the idea is no one yet knows. The results will tell the Doctors what the best course of action is to take. See my previous blog posts for some scenarios.

School has been going pretty good so far. I escaped this past week alive having managed to complete a few major assignments. This is now the “calm before the storm” where I have no major projects due within the week, which means I must be using this time to cram in as much reading and work as I can before the next round of assignments simultaneously hit me (as they always do). If I can make it to the last week of February (reading week) I think I’ll be good. One major presentation... on February 14th of all days in a Finance course. I’m thinking of decorating the room with hearts and telling everyone how much I love Small Business Finance. Valentine’s Cards for everyone in the room with the company’s five year cash flow predictions? Bonus points for creativity? Should make up for the fact I don’t know finance and will score nothing for the presentation itself.

So how is life in the apartment Tom? Well, I’m glad you asked. I found out I don’t know how to care for plant life. Jen & Randy were so kind as to get us a plant for the former Christmas Tree corner of the living room. I was watering it daily what I thought was a good amount of water. One day the water stopped “sinking in” to the soil. Eventually Nicole asked why the water was floating at the level of the top of the pot. Some investigation lead to the realization the larger pot (the smaller pot was in) was 1/2 filled with water AFTER the smaller pot was removed. I was drowning the poor sucker. 4-5 days of no watering and the soil is still damp. Lesson learned.

Oh, so did I mention Nicole and I are engaged? BECAUSE WE ARE! Pretty psyched about that one. I’m not gonna lie, I was banking pretty heavily on a “yes”, and was fairly confident it would come, though I won’t lie... still bloody nerve racking! Randomly calling each other Fiancé all of the time as now a fun part of every day. You’d think it’d get old, but so far it hasn’t. Neither has staring at her ring for Nicole. She’ll just look at it and giggle randomly, which I love. You should see her try and drive!

Probably should be off to bed right away, as sleep does me well. Tomorrow should be a good day. I think this weekend will see me finally put up Nicole’s housecoat hook, finally do some laundry (we’re out of clean towels), do some dishes, AND put up the curtains in my paper room / office! Productivity will be accomplished! After that it’s just a few product returns, a couple of purchases and the apartment will be declared “Mission Accomplished”! I just need an aircraft carrier to hang the banner on. I hope it isn’t premature as there are a few pockets of resistance (mostly in the storage closet).

CHEERS EVERYONE! Keep you posted with another post sometime soon barring life or school getting in the way. Laters Aligators :)

Update and such

Hello all!

This post will (actually) be short as I have a bit of homework to do and am not feeling all that well.

I finished radiation treatments on Wednesday of last week and finished Chemo on Thursday (the next day). So one would think I should have been celebrating tremendously and be feeling way better right? For me it has been the opposite, with me being tired and not feeling that well SINCE I finished all the treatment stuff. I'm thinking it could be that I'm getting sick (like a cold or something) which would suck as it's probably not good for me to get sick at this point. The other thought is that life has been busy since then with late nights and homework and all the goings on of life. It's not as though I have terrible migraine headaches or anything like that, just that I feel generally tired and have a 'mild headache' sort of feeling that doesn't really seem like a headache (more like the feeling you get when you're over-tired).

Otherwise though things are good with me. School is going well (though this is a busy time for assignments and readings). I asked Nicole to marry me (for those of you who didn't know) and she said "yes" so that's good (understatement). Now we get to plan a wedding and all that jazz. I just hope I feel better tomorrow and the days that come after that so I can be more excited and enthusiastic than I've been while feeling blah as I have been. I don't like writing blog updates when I'm not feeling great as I like the more "happy optimistic feel-great" tone much better, but at the same time I don't want to make it seem like this whole thing is "no big deal" and that every day is great, as that's not entirely true either. I want this to be an accurate representation of what I'm going through, so I'll leave it as tonight I have a headache and don't feel all that good. I'm tired of feeling exhausted for 4th or 5th day in a row. I suppose I'm just spoiled having felt so great for so long. I'm sure tomorrow I'll feel much better. Cheers!
--
Tom