Dear everyone: Thank You!
I wanted to create a separate blog entry to thank all of those involved in the "Healing Prayer Vigil for Tommy Sontag" on (and off) of Facebook. I'd especially like to thank Brenda Balinski, all of the other Balinski's, and anyone else who helped to set it up, spread the word, and/or promoted it. To say it meant a lot would be an understatement of the grandest proportions. The event had 352 people listed as attending, and I'm sure there were many that took part outside of that number as well. On July 31st (the date of the Facebook event) Nicole and I were seated in a restaurant called The Sandbar (where the food was amazing). We were had the comfiest chairs I've experienced in a restaurant lounge before and The TVs (of which there were about 4 surrounding us) all had the weekend's Formula One race on. Live piano music was played a few feet away from our table. It was what I would describe as a perfect moment. Nicole and I talked about our lives, our fears, and many other things. At around the 8:00 mark local time (10:00 pm Winnipeg time... the time of the Facebook event) we said a few prayers ourselves to join in the many of you who were doing the same. It felt good and special and so many other things I cannot describe. To have other people care about you is one thing. To have friends, family, and complete strangers stop and pray for you is completely another. Thank you is not enough, but nonetheless I thank you all. I also know many have set up or included me in other prayer groups outside of this particular event. I thank all of you as well.
I was diagnosed in late November of 2010 and given a prognosis of 'about a year to live'. Most of what I have read into give a median survival time of "approximately 14 months". I am still doing well myself. I began my latest round of chemo last week and haven't had any ill effects (other than the usual dry lips/skin from the Accutane). My next MRI is on September 25th but results won't come until early October.
Please also keep Nicole in your prayers. She needs and deserves them at least as much as I do. To say this is hard for her would be an understatement even greater than that of my words of thanks to all of you above. Pray for her to be able to cope with all that we are currently facing. Pray for her to be able to get some sleep by choosing to instead of simply entering "sleep" as a result of exhaustion and an inability to do anything but crash around 4am every single night. Pray for her to have the ability to enjoy all of the great times life has brought us as of late without the follow up thought "...what if this is the last time we get to do this?" Pray for her to be without the pain and the fear if only for a short while every day. She has told me that going through the torment of constantly living in fear and stress but still getting to be with me is worth more than simply losing me and getting what is really an "Every single day pre-mourning the loss of me" over and done with. Show her your love and support. If you can do only one thing for me, let it be that. No one knows how hard this is for her. I certainly don't, and if anyone would it would be me (I spend literally every day with her, and though I'm temped to throw in some sort of jokes here... I truly would not have it any other way). Nicole is my love, my life, and my soul mate. I can only help her by getting through all of this terrible situation myself. Even though today "beating" this cancer is not possible, that does not mean that tomorrow it will not be. Most people only make it a year or so. I am not most people. I am Thomas Daniel Sontag, aka: Tommy, aka: T-Bone, aka: Tom, aka: the guy who says "Cheers!" all of the time, aka: Nicole's husband, aka: a lot of other things to a lot of other people. My point is that there has never been someone who has been all of those things before who has also had a Stage 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme Malignant Primary Brain Tumour stuck in his head (that I know of). Stats and averages and medians (and even means to open the door to some sort of pun) mean nothing to me.
I wanted to make sure I threw in the post thanking those who have kept me in their thoughts and prayers. I'm thinking writing about the whole trip in the many chapters as I proposed would be stupid as I'd never get around to it and I'm sure most of it would equal "blah blah blah blah blah" to most of you. Instead I'm going to promise nothing and feel blog-related-guilt-free for the next while and if I post I post, and if I don't I don't. I like that.
HAPPY ALMOST WEDDING DAY JOHN & SHARON!!! WE LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR BIG DAY :)
I must now tell Nicole to go to bed, which she won't. Maybe there is something I can start slipping in her milk before bed? This will be difficult because she will read this post and know of my actions in advance. Also, she does not drink milk before bed.
Cheers!
--
Tom
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