No, this isn't some insightful Blog post, or even a good description of my recent 17 day trip to Europe. You only get to hear my rant about reality TV today, everything else must wait...
Okay, some of you would like a medical update... I will oblige. I am still alive & kicking. The kicking may have to do with a restless leg syndrome while I sleep. Just kidding. About the "Jimmy Legs" that is. I am healthy and doing well*. Next MRI is June 19th, with results June 27th. Nicole's birthday is June 29th, so I'm thinking I get off pretty easy for a gift this year... A CLEAN SCAN!!! Our health care system even pays for it!?! What a great country :)
*(for a person with a terminal illness / malignant brain tumour)
So has anyone else noticed there seem to be more commercials than ever before? I'm not sure that for every one hour of "programming" there is even 2/3 of "show". I'd bet 20 minutes of each hour are ads. Not only that, most "shows" are merely 'reality TV' which by necessity must "recap" everything that was just shown before commercials. I assume they do this as the break was so long they assume their target audience (of questionable IQ) has probably forgotten what they were even watching. So coming back from commercials your favourite "reality" show spends 5 minutes showing you what you already saw before the break. Keep in mind most of these shows give a preview of what you will be watching in order to convince you to watch their show (lest you flip past "When elevator doors attack" to catch the latest "Overweight hillbilly family who can't speak English real good like") at the beginning of the episode. I have come to the conclusion that the average "hour" of TV breaks down as such:
-3-5 minute intro
-21 minutes commercials
-15 minutes "recapping" after commercials
-2 minutes credits
-1 minute preview of next week's show
-------------------------------------------------
= 16-18 minutes of actual programming
Granted my numbers are purely speculative (and likely wrong), but I'm willing to bet percentage-wise Reality TV shows would match NFL football games (with instant replays, half-time, and commercials removed) in terms of "Actual-Minutes-of-Entertainment-Enjoyed" vs. "Minutes-of-Life-Wasted").
To put that all in comparison, you have likely just wasted 10-12 minutes reading this blog post. In that time you could have gotten the "gist" of your favourite show on TLC (or most of the ads run during that show). My point? You have made the foolish assumption I started this blog post with one in mind. That'll learn ya! I'm tired and going to bed now. #readabook
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
About a glass...
Some people look at their glass as half empty...
Some people look at their glass as half full...
I look at my glass and say "HEY!!! I HAVE A GLASS!!!"
:)
--
Tom
Monday, December 30, 2013
A NEW POST!!! (part 1)
HEY EVERYONE! LOOK... IT'S A NEW POST!!!
Yes, despite telling almost everyone I've come across for the past year "I think I should write another blog post soon"... I haven't. I think that makes about 15 people I've lied to (and about 5 I've lied to on multiple occasions). Fate changed all of that today when I had a celebrity sighting at St. Vital Mall. Who did I run into (or rather who almost ran into me... literally)? Why it was the one and only 'super-spouse duo' of Nelson Thiessen & Karen Theodora Thiessen (née 'Sterm...something')!!! In the flesh! (I don't know why people say that... it just sounds creepy, as though there would be a situation where you would say '...without their flesh!') [shudders]. Sorry, Nicole's been watching too much zombie TV lately... something about the "living dead"? It's something on Netflix that I refuse to watch because I don't find people eating other people entertaining. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Apparently some dude broke his leg fighting some other dude the other day. I also have no urge to see that footage (can you tell I'm not into UFC)? So where was I? Right... the celebrity couple. Nelson & Karen cleverly freaked the heck out of Nicole & I as we were attempting to do some London Drugs shopping at St. Vital Centre. As Nicole & I are polite Canadians (and I am as timid as a church mouse*) we tend to stay out of the way of fellow shoppers. When one does cross our path we move and apologize for our very existence (as any true Canadian should). Today the incredibly fashionably dressed Nelson & Karen PURPOSELY came upon us and cleverly cut us off so obviously, that had I been an assertive person I might have said "Hey, what in the name of Pete are you discourteous shoppers doing cutting my wife & I off like a couple of hooligans?!" instead of my natural reaction... to step aside, quiver in fear while tears well up inside my eyes and hope my wife is able to fend for herself. Well played you two... well played. No worries Nicole, next time I'll have your back ;)
Nelson, Karen & I subsequently had a long conversation about the most important topics in our lives these days (toasters, breadmakers, painting, and nearly-antiquated video games). I felt as though our friendship reached a new level. You can't speak about "single-sliced toasters", "the benefits & downsides of giftcards", and/or "roller painting vs. trimming the sides" without knowing someone in a way the deepest of joint zen yoga sessions could ever achieve. I say this having never attempted yoga (on anything other than a "Wii Fitness Balance Board"). But I digress... Didn't I put an asterisk above somewhere??? Oh right...
*SIDE NOTE: A quick google search for "timid church mouse" brought up a result from a book listed on Amazon. Page 196 of "Speaking the Truth in Love: A Christian Approach to Assertiveness" states "Tom is a twenty-five year old whose nonverbal behaviour at the beginning of counseling led one to believe he was timid, afraid, uneasy, and tense...Tom walked and gestured like a timid church mouse". Aside from the age being off by 4 years (almost 5) it is as though author Henry Virkler is describing ME!!! It must stem from the name. Perhaps I'm prone to doubt my own abilities... like a "doubting Thomas???" Oh come on, you knew that was coming!
I do believe there was a point to this blog when I started. I usually like to update you all on my "how's the whole brain tumour / terminal illness" thing, so... GOOD NEWS! I'm still alive :)
It turns our I'm not dead yet or looking to do so anytime soon! Anytime soon being defined as early 2014. Nicole & I continue to live our wonderful lives together on the edge of a metaphorical ice ledge hanging off the edge of a several hundred foot tall glacier with a complete drop off without anyone living within 160.934 Kilometres (100 miles for my American readers). All of that is a metaphor, however it should be noted we do still have the love & support of many around us. We have both found that with my health being stable as it has been for such an extended period of time (YAY!) people have a tendency to think "Oh, so Tom is okay now eh?" ("Oh, so Tom is okay now?" for my American readers). This can be frustrating, but I suppose we must look at it as a necessary part of the whole "living forever" plan I've been working on. Decisions continue to be hard to make long term. Right now we are focused on Nicole finishing school. She is in her last term completing her placement at the WCB (Worker's Compensation Board) as she works towards getting her Bachelor of Social Work. Nicole is perfect for the work she does as she is probably the person who best combines an incredible intelligence with simple common sense and a care & compassion for all people in a way that makes her PERFECT to be a social worker. I think her having gone through the incredibly difficult situation she has (and continues to go through) with my health has given her a perspective that allows her to see "the other side" in a way that most people simply cannot. I also think she is not some fluffy waste-of-space social worker who is the type to say "now point to the picture of the face that is how your are feeling on the inside?" In my opinion a social worker has to be able to be compassionate while not talking down to their patient or speaking to them in a condescending manner. Nicole has all of these skills and talents in one package... and she's managed to push through and get her schooling done up to this point all while taking good care of me and dealing with the stress of our situation. She might tell you that she doesn't do much for me. Either she's a liar, or she doesn't realize how much she does for me. Anyone who knows me knows all of the medical research and dietary investigations have been done by one "Nicole O'Leary-Sontag". She also does the most important thing in the world for me. She offers me the most beautiful face in the world to wake up to each and every morning. If that isn't enough of a reason to keep the whole "living" thing going, I don't know what is!
In reality we do struggle with topics ranging from "Will we ever have kids?" (with the hidden question being "What happens if we do and [I] am no longer here to help raise those kids?"), or "Where will we be living in a year from now?" (with the hidden questions of "Will I still be here in a year?" and "Will we be able to financially afford to move out into a house?" lurking in the background). So Nicole & I continue to do the only thing we can (and know how)... take it all day-by-day. That sometimes means taking it "3 month period-by-3 month period" oddly enough as that is the interval between my MRI scans. My MRI's are the equivalent of a high school report card you only get so often, and in between which you have no idea how you are doing. So maybe they're more like working for a company that doesn't do nearly enough performance appraisals? Anyhow, my next MRI is scheduled for March 28th, 2014 (Get used to writing that "14" now eh?!)
Oh, and I still LOVE LIFE, LOVE MY WIFE, LOVE WORDS THAT RHYME WITH STRIFE, and that's about as far as I can drag that one out. A special thanks tonight to my lovely wife Nicole, for letting me abandon her completely for the last few hours so that I may write this rambling, non-sensical blog post. The fact that it makes no sense should assure you that I am completely my normal self! There was a second theme planned for tonight's blog post... "SEARS SUCKS!!!" Unfortunately I have wasted all of my time talking about myself. Who wants to read about that? Well, I guess you didn't find it all that bad as you're still reading :)
Stay tuned the next time I waste your time when I recount my many unfortunate experiences dealing with Sears... [to be continued]...
--
Tom
PS: It's late and I'm tired, so as per usual I will not be proofreading this entry. Have at it Luke!!! :)
Yes, despite telling almost everyone I've come across for the past year "I think I should write another blog post soon"... I haven't. I think that makes about 15 people I've lied to (and about 5 I've lied to on multiple occasions). Fate changed all of that today when I had a celebrity sighting at St. Vital Mall. Who did I run into (or rather who almost ran into me... literally)? Why it was the one and only 'super-spouse duo' of Nelson Thiessen & Karen Theodora Thiessen (née 'Sterm...something')!!! In the flesh! (I don't know why people say that... it just sounds creepy, as though there would be a situation where you would say '...without their flesh!') [shudders]. Sorry, Nicole's been watching too much zombie TV lately... something about the "living dead"? It's something on Netflix that I refuse to watch because I don't find people eating other people entertaining. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Apparently some dude broke his leg fighting some other dude the other day. I also have no urge to see that footage (can you tell I'm not into UFC)? So where was I? Right... the celebrity couple. Nelson & Karen cleverly freaked the heck out of Nicole & I as we were attempting to do some London Drugs shopping at St. Vital Centre. As Nicole & I are polite Canadians (and I am as timid as a church mouse*) we tend to stay out of the way of fellow shoppers. When one does cross our path we move and apologize for our very existence (as any true Canadian should). Today the incredibly fashionably dressed Nelson & Karen PURPOSELY came upon us and cleverly cut us off so obviously, that had I been an assertive person I might have said "Hey, what in the name of Pete are you discourteous shoppers doing cutting my wife & I off like a couple of hooligans?!" instead of my natural reaction... to step aside, quiver in fear while tears well up inside my eyes and hope my wife is able to fend for herself. Well played you two... well played. No worries Nicole, next time I'll have your back ;)
Nelson, Karen & I subsequently had a long conversation about the most important topics in our lives these days (toasters, breadmakers, painting, and nearly-antiquated video games). I felt as though our friendship reached a new level. You can't speak about "single-sliced toasters", "the benefits & downsides of giftcards", and/or "roller painting vs. trimming the sides" without knowing someone in a way the deepest of joint zen yoga sessions could ever achieve. I say this having never attempted yoga (on anything other than a "Wii Fitness Balance Board"). But I digress... Didn't I put an asterisk above somewhere??? Oh right...
*SIDE NOTE: A quick google search for "timid church mouse" brought up a result from a book listed on Amazon. Page 196 of "Speaking the Truth in Love: A Christian Approach to Assertiveness" states "Tom is a twenty-five year old whose nonverbal behaviour at the beginning of counseling led one to believe he was timid, afraid, uneasy, and tense...Tom walked and gestured like a timid church mouse". Aside from the age being off by 4 years (almost 5) it is as though author Henry Virkler is describing ME!!! It must stem from the name. Perhaps I'm prone to doubt my own abilities... like a "doubting Thomas???" Oh come on, you knew that was coming!
I do believe there was a point to this blog when I started. I usually like to update you all on my "how's the whole brain tumour / terminal illness" thing, so... GOOD NEWS! I'm still alive :)
It turns our I'm not dead yet or looking to do so anytime soon! Anytime soon being defined as early 2014. Nicole & I continue to live our wonderful lives together on the edge of a metaphorical ice ledge hanging off the edge of a several hundred foot tall glacier with a complete drop off without anyone living within 160.934 Kilometres (100 miles for my American readers). All of that is a metaphor, however it should be noted we do still have the love & support of many around us. We have both found that with my health being stable as it has been for such an extended period of time (YAY!) people have a tendency to think "Oh, so Tom is okay now eh?" ("Oh, so Tom is okay now?" for my American readers). This can be frustrating, but I suppose we must look at it as a necessary part of the whole "living forever" plan I've been working on. Decisions continue to be hard to make long term. Right now we are focused on Nicole finishing school. She is in her last term completing her placement at the WCB (Worker's Compensation Board) as she works towards getting her Bachelor of Social Work. Nicole is perfect for the work she does as she is probably the person who best combines an incredible intelligence with simple common sense and a care & compassion for all people in a way that makes her PERFECT to be a social worker. I think her having gone through the incredibly difficult situation she has (and continues to go through) with my health has given her a perspective that allows her to see "the other side" in a way that most people simply cannot. I also think she is not some fluffy waste-of-space social worker who is the type to say "now point to the picture of the face that is how your are feeling on the inside?" In my opinion a social worker has to be able to be compassionate while not talking down to their patient or speaking to them in a condescending manner. Nicole has all of these skills and talents in one package... and she's managed to push through and get her schooling done up to this point all while taking good care of me and dealing with the stress of our situation. She might tell you that she doesn't do much for me. Either she's a liar, or she doesn't realize how much she does for me. Anyone who knows me knows all of the medical research and dietary investigations have been done by one "Nicole O'Leary-Sontag". She also does the most important thing in the world for me. She offers me the most beautiful face in the world to wake up to each and every morning. If that isn't enough of a reason to keep the whole "living" thing going, I don't know what is!
In reality we do struggle with topics ranging from "Will we ever have kids?" (with the hidden question being "What happens if we do and [I] am no longer here to help raise those kids?"), or "Where will we be living in a year from now?" (with the hidden questions of "Will I still be here in a year?" and "Will we be able to financially afford to move out into a house?" lurking in the background). So Nicole & I continue to do the only thing we can (and know how)... take it all day-by-day. That sometimes means taking it "3 month period-by-3 month period" oddly enough as that is the interval between my MRI scans. My MRI's are the equivalent of a high school report card you only get so often, and in between which you have no idea how you are doing. So maybe they're more like working for a company that doesn't do nearly enough performance appraisals? Anyhow, my next MRI is scheduled for March 28th, 2014 (Get used to writing that "14" now eh?!)
Oh, and I still LOVE LIFE, LOVE MY WIFE, LOVE WORDS THAT RHYME WITH STRIFE, and that's about as far as I can drag that one out. A special thanks tonight to my lovely wife Nicole, for letting me abandon her completely for the last few hours so that I may write this rambling, non-sensical blog post. The fact that it makes no sense should assure you that I am completely my normal self! There was a second theme planned for tonight's blog post... "SEARS SUCKS!!!" Unfortunately I have wasted all of my time talking about myself. Who wants to read about that? Well, I guess you didn't find it all that bad as you're still reading :)
Stay tuned the next time I waste your time when I recount my many unfortunate experiences dealing with Sears... [to be continued]...
--
Tom
PS: It's late and I'm tired, so as per usual I will not be proofreading this entry. Have at it Luke!!! :)
Thursday, September 19, 2013
In my day...
I think it is about time my generation create their own version of the "both ways up hill in the snow" story our grandparents love to tell us so much. It may be a bit premature, but then again technology is advancing at a rate unseen in the past so I think it is only fitting that such stories keep pace.
You know, in my day we didn't have this thing you call Facebook! If we wanted to talk to a friend we actually had to call them up! How did we do this?
FIRST of all we didn't have iPhones or even phones that had "apps"! The closest thing we had were 'calculator', 'notes', or 'world clock'... and THOSE WERE THE LUCKY KIDS!!! If you wanted to check the latest sports score you had to go home to use the internet... where your family owned only ONE computer, and you had to share it with ALL OF YOUR SIBLINGS... and the internet speed was measured in Kbps! At 14.4 Kbps that meant you truly understood the difference between a JPG and a GIF image file! ASK SOMEONE MY AGE TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU!!! We had never heard of "Hi-Def". We were happy just to have "Def". If you ever got disconnected from the Internet (which happened a lot) you had to dial back in! Yes I said DIAL... that's how the internet used to work... using your home phone line (phones used to be a device located in one fixed location and shared by all members of a single family).
Picture this: you're talking with people and a question comes up that none of you have the answer to ("Who was it that played with Kevin Bacon in that movie with those things that lived underground?") In my day... YOU JUST HAD TO SETTLE FOR NOT KNOWING!!! The only solution was to find someone who had actually seen that movie and ask them (and hope they actually remembered). This is how knowledge was passed from generation to generation in my day.
SECONDLY not all of us even HAD cell phones! They weren't some God given right like air to breathe or food to eat! If you were lucky enough to have a cell phone you certainly didn't have one before the age of 18. Back in MY DAY my first phone was a Motorola StarTAC (See below).
Its features included an LED display, flip action, an extendible antenna (for connecting to that 0G network), and was one of the first cell phones that could fit in your pocket! How lucky was I? Notice how the display had TWO full rows? Both of which were 7 digits in length? Manitoba only had one area code back in my day so the 204 wasn't something we had to dial. We also didn't have to worry about how much "data" we had used... because there was no such thing as "data"! The phone's primary (and virtually only) feature was to call other people. Weird right? For those of us not lucky enough to have a phone we had to TALK to one another FACE TO FACE. Do not get this confused with "FACE TIME". It was like that, but without the iPhone. Imagine using Face Time, but then putting your iPhone behind your back and still being able to see the other person because they were in the same room as you.
This lead to all kinds of awkwardness in life (as I'm sure you could imagine). If you were invited to a party you had to tell the person you were not going to be there (or lie about it). Ultimately this would mean future awkwardness when you encountered the person again... which of course was bound to happen given the frequency with which we found ourselves in social situations. To "unfriend" someone you had two options. #1) Suck it up, and tell them "I don't want to be your friend anymore." It might hurt, but the other person knew the truth immediately. #2) Ignore the other person for the rest of your life. This seemed easier but actually took more work in the long run. If the other person was the type who "couldn't take a hint" they might persist in wanting to speak to you... following you around constantly until they had some sort of answer from you as to why you were ignoring them. It could get kind of ugly, and just sad to be honest.
THIRDLY if you wanted to share a photo with someone you had to start way back at actually getting the photo developed. Confused? Well back in my day our phones couldn't take pictures (as you might have gathered from the above). In fact, the concept of "digital photography" hadn't yet made its way into consumers hands (for anything near an affordable price). This meant photos had to be taken whereby the photographer had NO IDEA if the picture actually turned out after taking it! You know all of those blurry shots you take with your iPhone now but delete right away? You had to get those all developed and they all cost you money! And most rolls of film only held 24 photos (36 if you paid more) and often you had to wait until the next day to pick them up! THE NEXT DAY!!! Then (and only then) could you share them with your friends by physically bringing one and show it to them. You would have to have more than one copy printed if you wanted to leave a copy with more than one friend. You couldn't "tag" yourself in a friend's photo. You could only point at a blurry person in the background and say "Hey, I think that's me!"
Okay, okay, I know some of you smarter kids out there are doing the math and realizing I was still in school when Facebook became cool. Let me assure you this was a slow process. I was first on something called "MySpace". It was like Facebook but totally lame. Your first "friend" was a guy named "Tom" who it turns out was the dude who created MySpace. My guess is he didn't have many real friends and thus created a social network that forced all users to have him as a friend, thus giving him ultimate bragging rights and a thin sense of self worth. It's like if you joined Facebook to find you had only one friend named "Mark" [Zuckerberg]. Now if your name was Mark and you joined Facebook to see you already had one friends named "Mark" you might freak out right? Now imagine Tom joins MySpace and immediately assumes his account has been hacked and that somehow someone uploaded a picture of someone else and set it as his own profile pic (ya, that happened). Anyways, ultimately and reluctantly I joined the "Facebook" (who I believe I have Tory to thank... but I can tell that story another day). Let me tell you though, that back in my day Facebook forced you to start each status line update with the words "[Your Name] is..." meaning you'd have to do mental gymnastics to form a grammatically correct sentence for anything you might say that would otherwise not begin in the form "Thomas Sontag is _________". One option was to ignore the laws of the English language and have a status read "Thomas Sontag is went to the zoo yesterday". This might catch the attention of a 'Luke Vandenberg' however, so it was generally best avoided. Would you even believe me if I told you Facebook used to limit you to a status line update of only 160 characters? When this was upped to 420 (and the forced "is..." was dropped) we thought it was a Facebook miracle! Now we could not only tell our friends that we were "at the mall", but actually which specific mall (and just maybe there'd be room for us to say which specific store in that mall!) Keep in mind this made us excited because there was no such thing as FourSquare yet, and Facebook didn't allow you to "check in" to places until much later.
Sounds like our lives pretty much sucked eh? Well maybe we had it better than you think? We could lie on our resume like nobody's business as there was no online account to disprove all of our false statements. We had human interaction and got healthy Vitamin C from the sunlight (what you see when you look outside). Sure you didn't have access to every fact on earth at the touch of a virtual button, but you could lie about stuff and so long as you sounded confident enough, people believed you! I think what I'm saying is the past was great for liars and cheats. So maybe things are better off now. I'm sure there's an answer on Wikipedia you can find, or just ask Siri... she sure seems to know a lot more than I do. One thing I do want to know... WHERE ON EARTH ARE OUR HOVER CARS!?!?!?! I realize due to my seizures I wouldn't be able to drive (fly?) one anyways, but I still think they'd be cool!
Oh, PS: I'm feeling great (having just gotten over a bit of a chest cold / cough / infection thing) and having had my last MRI on the 11th of September, I'm expecting nothing but the best results when I go for my appointment tomorrow, (lest I figure the terrorists had something to do with it). Nicole continues to keep me alive (lately with 100% organic homemade smoothies) and work continues to go well for me!
Cheers eh?
--
Tom
PS#2: You might think that on the eve of such a significant day tomorrow I might write a much more serious blog. If you thought that, you don't know me :)
You know, in my day we didn't have this thing you call Facebook! If we wanted to talk to a friend we actually had to call them up! How did we do this?
FIRST of all we didn't have iPhones or even phones that had "apps"! The closest thing we had were 'calculator', 'notes', or 'world clock'... and THOSE WERE THE LUCKY KIDS!!! If you wanted to check the latest sports score you had to go home to use the internet... where your family owned only ONE computer, and you had to share it with ALL OF YOUR SIBLINGS... and the internet speed was measured in Kbps! At 14.4 Kbps that meant you truly understood the difference between a JPG and a GIF image file! ASK SOMEONE MY AGE TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU!!! We had never heard of "Hi-Def". We were happy just to have "Def". If you ever got disconnected from the Internet (which happened a lot) you had to dial back in! Yes I said DIAL... that's how the internet used to work... using your home phone line (phones used to be a device located in one fixed location and shared by all members of a single family).
Picture this: you're talking with people and a question comes up that none of you have the answer to ("Who was it that played with Kevin Bacon in that movie with those things that lived underground?") In my day... YOU JUST HAD TO SETTLE FOR NOT KNOWING!!! The only solution was to find someone who had actually seen that movie and ask them (and hope they actually remembered). This is how knowledge was passed from generation to generation in my day.
SECONDLY not all of us even HAD cell phones! They weren't some God given right like air to breathe or food to eat! If you were lucky enough to have a cell phone you certainly didn't have one before the age of 18. Back in MY DAY my first phone was a Motorola StarTAC (See below).
Its features included an LED display, flip action, an extendible antenna (for connecting to that 0G network), and was one of the first cell phones that could fit in your pocket! How lucky was I? Notice how the display had TWO full rows? Both of which were 7 digits in length? Manitoba only had one area code back in my day so the 204 wasn't something we had to dial. We also didn't have to worry about how much "data" we had used... because there was no such thing as "data"! The phone's primary (and virtually only) feature was to call other people. Weird right? For those of us not lucky enough to have a phone we had to TALK to one another FACE TO FACE. Do not get this confused with "FACE TIME". It was like that, but without the iPhone. Imagine using Face Time, but then putting your iPhone behind your back and still being able to see the other person because they were in the same room as you.
This lead to all kinds of awkwardness in life (as I'm sure you could imagine). If you were invited to a party you had to tell the person you were not going to be there (or lie about it). Ultimately this would mean future awkwardness when you encountered the person again... which of course was bound to happen given the frequency with which we found ourselves in social situations. To "unfriend" someone you had two options. #1) Suck it up, and tell them "I don't want to be your friend anymore." It might hurt, but the other person knew the truth immediately. #2) Ignore the other person for the rest of your life. This seemed easier but actually took more work in the long run. If the other person was the type who "couldn't take a hint" they might persist in wanting to speak to you... following you around constantly until they had some sort of answer from you as to why you were ignoring them. It could get kind of ugly, and just sad to be honest.
THIRDLY if you wanted to share a photo with someone you had to start way back at actually getting the photo developed. Confused? Well back in my day our phones couldn't take pictures (as you might have gathered from the above). In fact, the concept of "digital photography" hadn't yet made its way into consumers hands (for anything near an affordable price). This meant photos had to be taken whereby the photographer had NO IDEA if the picture actually turned out after taking it! You know all of those blurry shots you take with your iPhone now but delete right away? You had to get those all developed and they all cost you money! And most rolls of film only held 24 photos (36 if you paid more) and often you had to wait until the next day to pick them up! THE NEXT DAY!!! Then (and only then) could you share them with your friends by physically bringing one and show it to them. You would have to have more than one copy printed if you wanted to leave a copy with more than one friend. You couldn't "tag" yourself in a friend's photo. You could only point at a blurry person in the background and say "Hey, I think that's me!"Okay, okay, I know some of you smarter kids out there are doing the math and realizing I was still in school when Facebook became cool. Let me assure you this was a slow process. I was first on something called "MySpace". It was like Facebook but totally lame. Your first "friend" was a guy named "Tom" who it turns out was the dude who created MySpace. My guess is he didn't have many real friends and thus created a social network that forced all users to have him as a friend, thus giving him ultimate bragging rights and a thin sense of self worth. It's like if you joined Facebook to find you had only one friend named "Mark" [Zuckerberg]. Now if your name was Mark and you joined Facebook to see you already had one friends named "Mark" you might freak out right? Now imagine Tom joins MySpace and immediately assumes his account has been hacked and that somehow someone uploaded a picture of someone else and set it as his own profile pic (ya, that happened). Anyways, ultimately and reluctantly I joined the "Facebook" (who I believe I have Tory to thank... but I can tell that story another day). Let me tell you though, that back in my day Facebook forced you to start each status line update with the words "[Your Name] is..." meaning you'd have to do mental gymnastics to form a grammatically correct sentence for anything you might say that would otherwise not begin in the form "Thomas Sontag is _________". One option was to ignore the laws of the English language and have a status read "Thomas Sontag is went to the zoo yesterday". This might catch the attention of a 'Luke Vandenberg' however, so it was generally best avoided. Would you even believe me if I told you Facebook used to limit you to a status line update of only 160 characters? When this was upped to 420 (and the forced "is..." was dropped) we thought it was a Facebook miracle! Now we could not only tell our friends that we were "at the mall", but actually which specific mall (and just maybe there'd be room for us to say which specific store in that mall!) Keep in mind this made us excited because there was no such thing as FourSquare yet, and Facebook didn't allow you to "check in" to places until much later.
Sounds like our lives pretty much sucked eh? Well maybe we had it better than you think? We could lie on our resume like nobody's business as there was no online account to disprove all of our false statements. We had human interaction and got healthy Vitamin C from the sunlight (what you see when you look outside). Sure you didn't have access to every fact on earth at the touch of a virtual button, but you could lie about stuff and so long as you sounded confident enough, people believed you! I think what I'm saying is the past was great for liars and cheats. So maybe things are better off now. I'm sure there's an answer on Wikipedia you can find, or just ask Siri... she sure seems to know a lot more than I do. One thing I do want to know... WHERE ON EARTH ARE OUR HOVER CARS!?!?!?! I realize due to my seizures I wouldn't be able to drive (fly?) one anyways, but I still think they'd be cool!
Oh, PS: I'm feeling great (having just gotten over a bit of a chest cold / cough / infection thing) and having had my last MRI on the 11th of September, I'm expecting nothing but the best results when I go for my appointment tomorrow, (lest I figure the terrorists had something to do with it). Nicole continues to keep me alive (lately with 100% organic homemade smoothies) and work continues to go well for me!
Cheers eh?
--
Tom
PS#2: You might think that on the eve of such a significant day tomorrow I might write a much more serious blog. If you thought that, you don't know me :)
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Scottish Bagpipes?
I'm weird. We all knew that already though, didn't we? I mention this only to give a bit of background as to why I might be writing this blog update with "Scotland the Brave: The Best Of Scottish Pipes & Drums" blaring out my the speakers from iTunes on my iMac.
I bought the CD from one of those CD Sampler racks in a Shoppers Drug Mart back before the became part of the Loblaws Empire (think Star Wars Stormtroopers Death March). Nicole shook her head, but allowed the purchase to occur, which is reason #862 why I love her so very very much. Did I mention it is a 3 disc set? Or maybe it was from Costco? I love Costco! Seriously. Costco kicks Shoppers Drug Mart's {cough} behind {cough}. I must write a family friendly blog for those young ones who follow my writing... lest they find my writing to be anything less than the most eloquent prose on the interwebs (or "Googles" as a fictitious grandparent might say).
Did I mention I was weird? So, on to the update. ME!?!? I'm great, thanks for asking! How are you?
I'll take your silence to imply you are doing quite well. I'm glad to hear it! It's been great talking about you, but this blog is called Tom's Thoughts so back to me.
Tom's Thought #222: Typing can be done quickly when listening to fast tempo scottish bagpipe tunes :)
Seriously though... about that whole cancer / tumour thing. It's still there, but it isn't getting bigger. At least I think that is what...
...means. I didn't take medicalology in school, and so I'm only combining common sense with what my nurse told me, but the "no new enhancing lesions", "No hydrocephalus", and "shows some reduction" all sound good! I do not believe the reduction of "plaque-like enchangement" means the tumour itself is actually getting smaller (though I'd love it if that were true), but all-in-all I'll take no growth of the tumour any day!!!
How do I feel? A bit squishy, but that's mostly due to the combination of flesh and muscular mass that I as a human being am primarily made of. Beneath that I feel hard and very skeletal. Oh, I see... you meant health wise. My apologies. I feel "Grrrrrrrrreeeeeaaat!!!" (to borrow a line from that corporately trademarked animated tiger). No headaches, no dizziness, no loss of balance, no bouts of unconsciousness... essentially nothing even close to any of the times I may have overindulged at the bar. This is not to say I ever did overindulge in a night out on the town with a couple of good mates / top lads, simply to say I know what that would have felt like should have done so. Yes, that is what I meant. {Cough} Drinking is bad kids.* Stay in school, Don't do drugs**. Only You Can Prevent forest fires***. Keep fit and have fun****. You gotta play it safe around electricity!*****
*Me
**Mr. T
***Smokey the Bear
****Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod
*****Louie the Lightning Bug
In other good news I have not experienced a seizure in over three months! [quickly knocks on wood] So that's cool. It means I'm only 3/4 of a year away from being able to drive again! Driving is cool. I like driving. I attribute my lack of seizures to my being awesome (obviously), but also upon my being on a whack of meds to prevent them from occurring. One particular medication I'm on is called Valproic Acid. While Wikipedia calls the drug "an acidic chemical compound, [...] use[d] as an anticonvulsant and mood-stabilizing drug, primarily in the treatment of epilepsy[...]" I simply call it "those massive yet magical orange pills I take three times a day to keep the shakes away".
SIDE NOTE: 30 minute of Scottish Bagpipes and still going strong!!! I feel like I'm in the Highlands! :)
I'm now up to 3,000 mg of the pills per day, which seems to be doing the trick, despite putting me at a "toxic" level of the drug in my system. It's funny how these things work. Doctors define some arbitrary level as being "safe" anything above or below a certain level is deemed "toxic" or "unsafe" yet here I am experiencing none of the side effects that are associated with a so-called 'toxic' level of the drug in my system. Granted this is only as measured in my most recent blood test, which could be biased based upon when I took my pills relative to the blood test, how much food I had in my body, etc. My neurologist explained that while having a set of numbers to compare to helps doctors keep most people in line with what is considered safe, some people can exist well outside this range while not experiencing any problems. I'm lucky to be one of such people it would seem. Thus my recent bout of seizurelessness! So seizures being non existent plus tumour not growing = "none too shabby". It's just great getting to live a stress free life not worrying about a single thing. Oh wait, that's not what I do at all...
Stress is something that must simply be managed. I try to put my stress in any containers we put in the recycling. That way it is taken out of the apartment at least once a week, and can be sent to a facility where it can be combined with other people's stress and reused... saving the planet one panic attack at a time! (Did I mention I was weird?) My sarcasm is meant to highlight the fact that great results do not take away from the reality that is my life. This is not to say "poor me" or expect / desire sympathy. I don't like sympathy and I don't want it. I don't live my life for any other reason than "because I want to". I rather enjoy my life, despite its crazy roller coaster ups & downs. Roller coasters are terrifying and I would never get on one voluntarily (short of a million dollar pay off), however when you wake up and find yourself in the front seat of train-like object heading full speed down a set of tracks... it's nice to know you have someone in the seat next to you holding your hand along the way. I could never do any of this without Nicole. If any of you get tired of me saying this STOP READING MY BLOG!!! This blog is about my life and she is my wife, thus she is 99% of my life. She is the 99% awesomeness that makes up for the 1% crappiness that forms a mass of cells in my "right high frontal lobe". I love you so much Nicole.
Outside of medical news, life goes on. My Grandma (who is the best Grandma in the world... sorry to break it to those of you who thought you might have had the world's best Grandma... you don't... unless you are one of my cousins) recently underwent surgery to remove a cancerous tumour in her colon. This makes her only the 6th member in my extended family to experience a fight with cancer. Luckily her operation went well (considering she is an 85 year old woman who until last month was still working 6 days a week), and she is now out of the hospital recovering at home. She is an incredible person and a source of inspiration in my life. I look up to her for her strength, love, set of moral values, strong sense of family, and so much more. My thoughts are with her as she goes through this less than pleasant experience (though I know she'd call me silly and assure me she is still praying for me every chance she gets). I love you so much Grandma.
I'm now listening to "oldies music" that Nicole let me purchase. This one was definitely purchased from Shoppers Drug Mart! I think I got this one confused with the Bagpipes CD. "Rock Around The Clock: Early Rock & Roll" Did I ever mention how much I love music? I think music is part of my therapy. Music calms me down if ever I need to be calmed. It energizes me if ever I need to go for a 5K run. It makes me happy if ever I am feeling down. It can also make me cry if I feel like having a good cry. Nicole got me an iPod Nano for my birthday and it is like the best gift ever! Every song I could want at my fingertips every morning on the bus ride to work? If that doesn't put you in the best mood ever, I don't know what will.
At this point in my blog I like to thank those who have a marathon runner's stamina and simultaneously apologize to them for the rambling nonsensical nature of my writing. They say "do what you do best" and... well, here we are. I'm loving my employment with WOW! Hospitality Concepts. Just to plug the company while I can, we operate 7 (soon to be 8) concepts in Winnipeg. An all-star list of restaurants including 529 Wellington Steakhouse, Terrace in the Park, Peasant Cookery, Los Chicos Restaurante Y Cantina & Finn's Pub and Muddy Waters Sports Ribs & Wings at the Forks. We also have Celebrations Dinner Theatre, which I recommend to any "Friends" fan as the current show is "Best of Friends Reunion". The 8th to be open late 2013 (Late August? Early September?) is "Food Evolution" to open in the Peguis Pavilion within Kildonan Park. How's that for shameless self promotion! I work out of the head office as the guy who looks after the IT & Social Media. Check out our many concept's Facebook Pages and click like to make it seem like I'm doing a good job and simultaneously increase my self-esteem! Or you could visit "http://tinyurl.com/wowmail-signup" and sign up for the company's email blasts (of which I am the "editor/writer"). Or not.
Now that I'm done whoring myself out for my place of employment. Oh right... the kids! Sorry children. Don't read that last sentence. Just pretend I had said "shamelessly selling myself out". Yes, let's all just go with that. IN-BLOG-UPDATE: I'm now listening to "Jessie's Girl" as "NOW 1980's" has entered my playlist. I can't wait until track 17 (Rapper's Delight)!
Other stuff: How are other people? Doing quite well I think/hope/assume! Close friend of Nicole & I, Shauna (the one allergic to everything but who has two of the cutest kids in the world... and now one of the cutest fetuses in the world) is due to have a baby girl in the weeks to come. I say "weeks" because I forget the actual due date. Meanwhile other good friends Mark & Steph (aka: S&M Inc... it's not what you think) have a beautiful baby girl who is approaching her first birthday! Avery Nicole Leonhart has the ability to melt the hearts of both Nicole & I with a single smile. I can't understand how Mark & Steph have managed to avoid sustaining significant damage to their hearts due to overwhelming happy emotions over the last year. We also look forward to the wedding of two very very very funny, good looking, intelligent, bipedal carbon-based organisms. You guessed it! I'm referring to Karen & Nelson! FYI Marriage is awesome! You never fight! You never get even the slightest bit upset by another pair of socks found on the bedroom or living room floor just as she never finds your general inattentive nature or inability to cook even the most basic of meals annoying at all! We love all of you guys. Not in a creepy hippy commune love way mind you. That would be wrong.
Am I still blogging? Turns out I am! I should check on my wife. She hasn't called to make sure I'm still breathing in the last few hours. I usually get a "Are you okay?" once every 20 minutes. I'll be right back... Yep! As I suspected, fast asleep (and looking quite cute too I must say). I checked to make sure she was breathing as to ensure her motionless nature was not misinterpreted leading to an unfortunate late night ambulance ride for all the wrong reasons. I should wrap things up soon though, as the next album up on my iTunes playlist is "Once Upon a Christmas" featuring Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton. My music tastes are eclectic okay!!! Back story on that one is that my Grandma always played that CD (which I think might have been a record back then*) when I was growing up. At Christmas time. I felt I should add that just in case someone was like "That's odd that his Grandma would have played a Christmas album during his entire childhood!" She only played it at Christmas, and I loved it! I saw it at the checkout of a Wal-Mart one day (it was one of those spontaneous 'checkout buys' for $5.00) so I said "HECK YES!"
*NOTE to the children: A record was like a big black CD that used a needle instead of a laser. That's how old I am.
Well, I should wind things up now. I'm on track 16 ("Rebel Yell") so if timed correctly, I can finish this blog entry as "Rapper's Delight" wraps up (PUN INTENDED!!!) My next MRI is on September 11th, because they felt facing the most aggressive form of brain cancer wasn't enough of a challenge... I clearly needed to have a scan on the date associated with the greatest tragedy of the past several decades. Thanks HSC!!!
Fin
I bought the CD from one of those CD Sampler racks in a Shoppers Drug Mart back before the became part of the Loblaws Empire (think Star Wars Stormtroopers Death March). Nicole shook her head, but allowed the purchase to occur, which is reason #862 why I love her so very very much. Did I mention it is a 3 disc set? Or maybe it was from Costco? I love Costco! Seriously. Costco kicks Shoppers Drug Mart's {cough} behind {cough}. I must write a family friendly blog for those young ones who follow my writing... lest they find my writing to be anything less than the most eloquent prose on the interwebs (or "Googles" as a fictitious grandparent might say).
Did I mention I was weird? So, on to the update. ME!?!? I'm great, thanks for asking! How are you?
I'll take your silence to imply you are doing quite well. I'm glad to hear it! It's been great talking about you, but this blog is called Tom's Thoughts so back to me.
Tom's Thought #222: Typing can be done quickly when listening to fast tempo scottish bagpipe tunes :)
Seriously though... about that whole cancer / tumour thing. It's still there, but it isn't getting bigger. At least I think that is what...
"The surgical cavity with hemosiderin staining in the right high frontal lobe with surrounding residual T2/FLAIR hyperintensity extending into the anterior cingulate gyrus is again identified. The previously identified plaque-like enhancement in the posterolateral aspect of the surgical cavity shows some reduction. No new enhancing lesions are identified. No hydrocephalus.
IMPRESSION: No interval change is identified in the surgical cavity and the surrounding tumour bed since the previous MRI studies from March 2013."
...means. I didn't take medicalology in school, and so I'm only combining common sense with what my nurse told me, but the "no new enhancing lesions", "No hydrocephalus", and "shows some reduction" all sound good! I do not believe the reduction of "plaque-like enchangement" means the tumour itself is actually getting smaller (though I'd love it if that were true), but all-in-all I'll take no growth of the tumour any day!!!
How do I feel? A bit squishy, but that's mostly due to the combination of flesh and muscular mass that I as a human being am primarily made of. Beneath that I feel hard and very skeletal. Oh, I see... you meant health wise. My apologies. I feel "Grrrrrrrrreeeeeaaat!!!" (to borrow a line from that corporately trademarked animated tiger). No headaches, no dizziness, no loss of balance, no bouts of unconsciousness... essentially nothing even close to any of the times I may have overindulged at the bar. This is not to say I ever did overindulge in a night out on the town with a couple of good mates / top lads, simply to say I know what that would have felt like should have done so. Yes, that is what I meant. {Cough} Drinking is bad kids.* Stay in school, Don't do drugs**. Only You Can Prevent forest fires***. Keep fit and have fun****. You gotta play it safe around electricity!*****
*Me
**Mr. T
***Smokey the Bear
****Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod
*****Louie the Lightning Bug
In other good news I have not experienced a seizure in over three months! [quickly knocks on wood] So that's cool. It means I'm only 3/4 of a year away from being able to drive again! Driving is cool. I like driving. I attribute my lack of seizures to my being awesome (obviously), but also upon my being on a whack of meds to prevent them from occurring. One particular medication I'm on is called Valproic Acid. While Wikipedia calls the drug "an acidic chemical compound, [...] use[d] as an anticonvulsant and mood-stabilizing drug, primarily in the treatment of epilepsy[...]" I simply call it "those massive yet magical orange pills I take three times a day to keep the shakes away".
SIDE NOTE: 30 minute of Scottish Bagpipes and still going strong!!! I feel like I'm in the Highlands! :)
I'm now up to 3,000 mg of the pills per day, which seems to be doing the trick, despite putting me at a "toxic" level of the drug in my system. It's funny how these things work. Doctors define some arbitrary level as being "safe" anything above or below a certain level is deemed "toxic" or "unsafe" yet here I am experiencing none of the side effects that are associated with a so-called 'toxic' level of the drug in my system. Granted this is only as measured in my most recent blood test, which could be biased based upon when I took my pills relative to the blood test, how much food I had in my body, etc. My neurologist explained that while having a set of numbers to compare to helps doctors keep most people in line with what is considered safe, some people can exist well outside this range while not experiencing any problems. I'm lucky to be one of such people it would seem. Thus my recent bout of seizurelessness! So seizures being non existent plus tumour not growing = "none too shabby". It's just great getting to live a stress free life not worrying about a single thing. Oh wait, that's not what I do at all...
Stress is something that must simply be managed. I try to put my stress in any containers we put in the recycling. That way it is taken out of the apartment at least once a week, and can be sent to a facility where it can be combined with other people's stress and reused... saving the planet one panic attack at a time! (Did I mention I was weird?) My sarcasm is meant to highlight the fact that great results do not take away from the reality that is my life. This is not to say "poor me" or expect / desire sympathy. I don't like sympathy and I don't want it. I don't live my life for any other reason than "because I want to". I rather enjoy my life, despite its crazy roller coaster ups & downs. Roller coasters are terrifying and I would never get on one voluntarily (short of a million dollar pay off), however when you wake up and find yourself in the front seat of train-like object heading full speed down a set of tracks... it's nice to know you have someone in the seat next to you holding your hand along the way. I could never do any of this without Nicole. If any of you get tired of me saying this STOP READING MY BLOG!!! This blog is about my life and she is my wife, thus she is 99% of my life. She is the 99% awesomeness that makes up for the 1% crappiness that forms a mass of cells in my "right high frontal lobe". I love you so much Nicole.
Outside of medical news, life goes on. My Grandma (who is the best Grandma in the world... sorry to break it to those of you who thought you might have had the world's best Grandma... you don't... unless you are one of my cousins) recently underwent surgery to remove a cancerous tumour in her colon. This makes her only the 6th member in my extended family to experience a fight with cancer. Luckily her operation went well (considering she is an 85 year old woman who until last month was still working 6 days a week), and she is now out of the hospital recovering at home. She is an incredible person and a source of inspiration in my life. I look up to her for her strength, love, set of moral values, strong sense of family, and so much more. My thoughts are with her as she goes through this less than pleasant experience (though I know she'd call me silly and assure me she is still praying for me every chance she gets). I love you so much Grandma.
I'm now listening to "oldies music" that Nicole let me purchase. This one was definitely purchased from Shoppers Drug Mart! I think I got this one confused with the Bagpipes CD. "Rock Around The Clock: Early Rock & Roll" Did I ever mention how much I love music? I think music is part of my therapy. Music calms me down if ever I need to be calmed. It energizes me if ever I need to go for a 5K run. It makes me happy if ever I am feeling down. It can also make me cry if I feel like having a good cry. Nicole got me an iPod Nano for my birthday and it is like the best gift ever! Every song I could want at my fingertips every morning on the bus ride to work? If that doesn't put you in the best mood ever, I don't know what will.
At this point in my blog I like to thank those who have a marathon runner's stamina and simultaneously apologize to them for the rambling nonsensical nature of my writing. They say "do what you do best" and... well, here we are. I'm loving my employment with WOW! Hospitality Concepts. Just to plug the company while I can, we operate 7 (soon to be 8) concepts in Winnipeg. An all-star list of restaurants including 529 Wellington Steakhouse, Terrace in the Park, Peasant Cookery, Los Chicos Restaurante Y Cantina & Finn's Pub and Muddy Waters Sports Ribs & Wings at the Forks. We also have Celebrations Dinner Theatre, which I recommend to any "Friends" fan as the current show is "Best of Friends Reunion". The 8th to be open late 2013 (Late August? Early September?) is "Food Evolution" to open in the Peguis Pavilion within Kildonan Park. How's that for shameless self promotion! I work out of the head office as the guy who looks after the IT & Social Media. Check out our many concept's Facebook Pages and click like to make it seem like I'm doing a good job and simultaneously increase my self-esteem! Or you could visit "http://tinyurl.com/wowmail-signup" and sign up for the company's email blasts (of which I am the "editor/writer"). Or not.
Now that I'm done whoring myself out for my place of employment. Oh right... the kids! Sorry children. Don't read that last sentence. Just pretend I had said "shamelessly selling myself out". Yes, let's all just go with that. IN-BLOG-UPDATE: I'm now listening to "Jessie's Girl" as "NOW 1980's" has entered my playlist. I can't wait until track 17 (Rapper's Delight)!
Other stuff: How are other people? Doing quite well I think/hope/assume! Close friend of Nicole & I, Shauna (the one allergic to everything but who has two of the cutest kids in the world... and now one of the cutest fetuses in the world) is due to have a baby girl in the weeks to come. I say "weeks" because I forget the actual due date. Meanwhile other good friends Mark & Steph (aka: S&M Inc... it's not what you think) have a beautiful baby girl who is approaching her first birthday! Avery Nicole Leonhart has the ability to melt the hearts of both Nicole & I with a single smile. I can't understand how Mark & Steph have managed to avoid sustaining significant damage to their hearts due to overwhelming happy emotions over the last year. We also look forward to the wedding of two very very very funny, good looking, intelligent, bipedal carbon-based organisms. You guessed it! I'm referring to Karen & Nelson! FYI Marriage is awesome! You never fight! You never get even the slightest bit upset by another pair of socks found on the bedroom or living room floor just as she never finds your general inattentive nature or inability to cook even the most basic of meals annoying at all! We love all of you guys. Not in a creepy hippy commune love way mind you. That would be wrong.
Am I still blogging? Turns out I am! I should check on my wife. She hasn't called to make sure I'm still breathing in the last few hours. I usually get a "Are you okay?" once every 20 minutes. I'll be right back... Yep! As I suspected, fast asleep (and looking quite cute too I must say). I checked to make sure she was breathing as to ensure her motionless nature was not misinterpreted leading to an unfortunate late night ambulance ride for all the wrong reasons. I should wrap things up soon though, as the next album up on my iTunes playlist is "Once Upon a Christmas" featuring Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton. My music tastes are eclectic okay!!! Back story on that one is that my Grandma always played that CD (which I think might have been a record back then*) when I was growing up. At Christmas time. I felt I should add that just in case someone was like "That's odd that his Grandma would have played a Christmas album during his entire childhood!" She only played it at Christmas, and I loved it! I saw it at the checkout of a Wal-Mart one day (it was one of those spontaneous 'checkout buys' for $5.00) so I said "HECK YES!"
*NOTE to the children: A record was like a big black CD that used a needle instead of a laser. That's how old I am.
Well, I should wind things up now. I'm on track 16 ("Rebel Yell") so if timed correctly, I can finish this blog entry as "Rapper's Delight" wraps up (PUN INTENDED!!!) My next MRI is on September 11th, because they felt facing the most aggressive form of brain cancer wasn't enough of a challenge... I clearly needed to have a scan on the date associated with the greatest tragedy of the past several decades. Thanks HSC!!!
♫"now what you hear is not a test--i'm rappin to the beat and me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet"♫Yep, that sound means it's time to call it a night. Thanks for reading all my peeps! I ain't proofreadin' this blog yo 'cause I just decided I'm from da streetz, and we'z don'ts gotsta spells the wordz right! (I think the music might be having an effect on me). STAY IN SCHOOL KIDS!!!
Fin
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Saturday, April 13, 2013
2 years, 4½ months... and counting!
It has been a while since I was first diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Since my diagnosis I have graduated from University (with a second degree), started a great job working for a great company, travelled to some great places both inside and outside of this great country, married the greatest girl in the world, and had countless other fantastic days along the way. I am always thankful for the time I have and the people I have in my life and continue to be in their debt nearly every single day. You know who you are. Nonetheless there have been tough times along the way. "Tough" might be an understatement, but I'm somewhat known for playing down the bad times and talking up the good.
I find myself at a point in my life where it is harder than ever to look ahead. As much as I've always had the attitude that "things will work out", to believe such blindly and naïvely is neither wise nor healthy. I have to be more on top of things than ever before. No longer being on my chemotherapy treatment means I'm essentially "on my own" fighting something that has a 100% chance of growing back. It is a question of when more than a question of if. That is not to say I have given up in any way mind you. First of all there are the "1-in-a-million scenarios". These are the scenarios that say that just because no one else with my type of tumour has ever had it "go away" before, does not mean that cannot happen one day, and that I will not be the first person that this happens to. It could happen in a number of ways:
Scenario A) I am beamed aboard a spaceship that turns out to be the equivalent of a medical ship and the little green men (and women... let's not be sexist here) cure me of all that ails me.
Scenario B) I drink some odd combination of pop rocks, Dr. Pepper, Maple Syrup, Stem Cells, and HGH (Human Growth Hormone) that overloads my tumour causing it to explode somehow causing no damage to the surrounding brain tissue.
Scenario C) This has all been one crazy bad dream and I wake up from it tomorrow saying "Man, you wouldn't believe the dream I had last night!"
The above three scenarios, while possible, seem unlikely at the current moment in time. What I actually hope will happen is:
Scenario SAS*) I continue to keep my positive optimistic attitude towards life, continue to eat as healthy as I can (meaning no "scenario B" ingredients), and live long enough that some previously undiscovered treatment (if not cure) comes along that radically prolongs the life of GBM patients. If no cure comes along in that time, then just a series of medical developments that continue to improve the outcomes for GBM patients would be fine, ultimately culminating in a cure some decades from now around the time Hover Cars finally come to fruition.
(*Super Awesome Scenario)
I've said it many times many ways: Merry Christmas. No wait... that wasn't it. Though I've said it before it bears repeating, the fact I could die tomorrow doesn't make me theoretically different from anyone else... until you factor in the percentage odds. I rank up there with fairly obese individuals suffering from congestive heart failure. Most people simply face the potential of unobservant bus drivers or falling space debris (which it should be noted... I do too)!
What I would like to discuss however, is how a potentially limited life expectancy can play on your mind and affect how you "plan" for the future. At work I have a binder I keep that essentially outlines how to do many of the tasks I currently do at work. I try to keep myself as replaceable as possible, not wanting to leave my employer in a spot that would leave them hanging should I not be here tomorrow. Most people probably don't think this way. I recall after my Dad passed away how hard it was for my Mom to move on, and how his incredibly disorganized "office" (which was really an old kitchen table in the basement with plywood sheets between milk crates for shelves) made it 10 times harder for her to move on given that it was a several month long process just to sort through the stacks and stacks of paper that, while meaningful to him, meant nothing to any other individual on Earth. Why did he keep that page 7 article from March 28th's Winnipeg Free Press? I have no idea and never will. That example was totally made up by the way. It was true however that he had a box marked "Tom's Mail" that contained over a year's worth of unopened mail addressed to me. Turns out the bank HAD been sending me statements all along!!! But I digress... Having been through that with my Dad and remembering that my siblings and I had to take it upon ourselves to go through much of the "junk" to save my Mom from having to do so was a tough thing to have to do. As such I have tried to keep my office relatively clean (ok, I did say "relatively" didn't I?)... seriously - STOP LAUGHING! Anyways, I have tried to keep a clean and paperless office (hence the several hundred dollar duplex scanner purchase I may have made without my wife's knowledge/approval (good thing she loves me!). I have to live my life hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
Continuing on this theme the question must be raised "How do I plan to raise a family?" followed by "Can I even plan to raise a family? Would it even be moral?" I don't have the answers to these questions and struggle with them on a daily basis. I see friends beginning to raise families of their own. While it is great and so rewarding to see this happen and be so blessed as to be able to be a part of their families as they grow together, there is always a pain in my heart knowing I am not in a position to enjoy what I can see them enjoying right now. There are many factors that go into a decision of this magnitude. Assuming Nicole and I could have a child at this point in our lives (ignoring my medical treatments, her schooling, and our financial situation) could I justify putting her in a position where she might become a single mother (if I were to even live to see the birth of my own child)? I've already out-lived my life expectancy, so how long would my child live until they were without a father? Is it right to bring a child into the world, knowing you might not be there to teach them right from wrong? To protect them from things in the world that might harm them? To help my wife with what must surely be one of the most difficult challenges one can take upon themselves in their life?
Nicole and I have obviously discussed this. Playing the "what if" game, we've wondered what would happen if we did have a child, but I later had the tumour grow back and required a second surgery. What if that surgery left me with impairments such that I could not raise a child? What if those impairments were severe enough that I required Nicole to be my caregiver? Could she look after her newborn child and husband at the same time? What about the stress she might endure during pregnancy? As it is Nicole suffers more stress on a daily basis than I'm sure most people do in a month. Could she handle the stress of a first pregnancy PLUS the stress of her day-to-day life as it stands now?
Then we have to move on to the same realities every other potential parent/family must face. Can we afford to do this? We don't sleep on a pile of money each night, and while we've been fortunate to have had very generous support from our families, living just the two of us in an apartment is not the same as raising a newborn baby. I've heard they need to eat... DAILY!
Then there is the "can I have children?" question. Turns out I've received a lot of very toxic medication over the past 2+ years (not to mention a lifetime dose of radiation). While I've joked in the past that any baby I had would be green with three arms, medically I think the more likely scenario is that I simply wouldn't be able to have children.
Nicole has reminded me that it is likely too soon to even think about these things as she is still in school and I need to have been off chemo for at least 6 months before I can consider having a child. I'm sitting at 3 or so months off chemo, and Nicole still has a year plus of schooling to go, so perhaps I'll have time to revisit this in a future blog with the ability to live vicariously though our many close friends in the meantime. Being an "Aunty / Uncle" is pretty cool too. We love our non-biological nieces and nephews. A shout-out to Emma, Daniel, Yet-to-be-born (and thus named) Fetus, and of course Avery!
I find myself at a point in my life where it is harder than ever to look ahead. As much as I've always had the attitude that "things will work out", to believe such blindly and naïvely is neither wise nor healthy. I have to be more on top of things than ever before. No longer being on my chemotherapy treatment means I'm essentially "on my own" fighting something that has a 100% chance of growing back. It is a question of when more than a question of if. That is not to say I have given up in any way mind you. First of all there are the "1-in-a-million scenarios". These are the scenarios that say that just because no one else with my type of tumour has ever had it "go away" before, does not mean that cannot happen one day, and that I will not be the first person that this happens to. It could happen in a number of ways:
Scenario A) I am beamed aboard a spaceship that turns out to be the equivalent of a medical ship and the little green men (and women... let's not be sexist here) cure me of all that ails me.
Scenario B) I drink some odd combination of pop rocks, Dr. Pepper, Maple Syrup, Stem Cells, and HGH (Human Growth Hormone) that overloads my tumour causing it to explode somehow causing no damage to the surrounding brain tissue.
Scenario C) This has all been one crazy bad dream and I wake up from it tomorrow saying "Man, you wouldn't believe the dream I had last night!"
The above three scenarios, while possible, seem unlikely at the current moment in time. What I actually hope will happen is:
Scenario SAS*) I continue to keep my positive optimistic attitude towards life, continue to eat as healthy as I can (meaning no "scenario B" ingredients), and live long enough that some previously undiscovered treatment (if not cure) comes along that radically prolongs the life of GBM patients. If no cure comes along in that time, then just a series of medical developments that continue to improve the outcomes for GBM patients would be fine, ultimately culminating in a cure some decades from now around the time Hover Cars finally come to fruition.
(*Super Awesome Scenario)
I've said it many times many ways: Merry Christmas. No wait... that wasn't it. Though I've said it before it bears repeating, the fact I could die tomorrow doesn't make me theoretically different from anyone else... until you factor in the percentage odds. I rank up there with fairly obese individuals suffering from congestive heart failure. Most people simply face the potential of unobservant bus drivers or falling space debris (which it should be noted... I do too)!
What I would like to discuss however, is how a potentially limited life expectancy can play on your mind and affect how you "plan" for the future. At work I have a binder I keep that essentially outlines how to do many of the tasks I currently do at work. I try to keep myself as replaceable as possible, not wanting to leave my employer in a spot that would leave them hanging should I not be here tomorrow. Most people probably don't think this way. I recall after my Dad passed away how hard it was for my Mom to move on, and how his incredibly disorganized "office" (which was really an old kitchen table in the basement with plywood sheets between milk crates for shelves) made it 10 times harder for her to move on given that it was a several month long process just to sort through the stacks and stacks of paper that, while meaningful to him, meant nothing to any other individual on Earth. Why did he keep that page 7 article from March 28th's Winnipeg Free Press? I have no idea and never will. That example was totally made up by the way. It was true however that he had a box marked "Tom's Mail" that contained over a year's worth of unopened mail addressed to me. Turns out the bank HAD been sending me statements all along!!! But I digress... Having been through that with my Dad and remembering that my siblings and I had to take it upon ourselves to go through much of the "junk" to save my Mom from having to do so was a tough thing to have to do. As such I have tried to keep my office relatively clean (ok, I did say "relatively" didn't I?)... seriously - STOP LAUGHING! Anyways, I have tried to keep a clean and paperless office (hence the several hundred dollar duplex scanner purchase I may have made without my wife's knowledge/approval (good thing she loves me!). I have to live my life hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
Continuing on this theme the question must be raised "How do I plan to raise a family?" followed by "Can I even plan to raise a family? Would it even be moral?" I don't have the answers to these questions and struggle with them on a daily basis. I see friends beginning to raise families of their own. While it is great and so rewarding to see this happen and be so blessed as to be able to be a part of their families as they grow together, there is always a pain in my heart knowing I am not in a position to enjoy what I can see them enjoying right now. There are many factors that go into a decision of this magnitude. Assuming Nicole and I could have a child at this point in our lives (ignoring my medical treatments, her schooling, and our financial situation) could I justify putting her in a position where she might become a single mother (if I were to even live to see the birth of my own child)? I've already out-lived my life expectancy, so how long would my child live until they were without a father? Is it right to bring a child into the world, knowing you might not be there to teach them right from wrong? To protect them from things in the world that might harm them? To help my wife with what must surely be one of the most difficult challenges one can take upon themselves in their life?
Nicole and I have obviously discussed this. Playing the "what if" game, we've wondered what would happen if we did have a child, but I later had the tumour grow back and required a second surgery. What if that surgery left me with impairments such that I could not raise a child? What if those impairments were severe enough that I required Nicole to be my caregiver? Could she look after her newborn child and husband at the same time? What about the stress she might endure during pregnancy? As it is Nicole suffers more stress on a daily basis than I'm sure most people do in a month. Could she handle the stress of a first pregnancy PLUS the stress of her day-to-day life as it stands now?
Then we have to move on to the same realities every other potential parent/family must face. Can we afford to do this? We don't sleep on a pile of money each night, and while we've been fortunate to have had very generous support from our families, living just the two of us in an apartment is not the same as raising a newborn baby. I've heard they need to eat... DAILY!
Then there is the "can I have children?" question. Turns out I've received a lot of very toxic medication over the past 2+ years (not to mention a lifetime dose of radiation). While I've joked in the past that any baby I had would be green with three arms, medically I think the more likely scenario is that I simply wouldn't be able to have children.
Nicole has reminded me that it is likely too soon to even think about these things as she is still in school and I need to have been off chemo for at least 6 months before I can consider having a child. I'm sitting at 3 or so months off chemo, and Nicole still has a year plus of schooling to go, so perhaps I'll have time to revisit this in a future blog with the ability to live vicariously though our many close friends in the meantime. Being an "Aunty / Uncle" is pretty cool too. We love our non-biological nieces and nephews. A shout-out to Emma, Daniel, Yet-to-be-born (and thus named) Fetus, and of course Avery!
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