Good morning!
So, it is 7:07am and I am normally sleeping right now! Unfortunately (admittedly at the age of 27) I had a bad dream and found myself rather awake. I figured why not put my state of wakefulness to good use. Yes that means I just put the dishwasher on. I don't have a whole lot to write about, but that has never stopped me before, so here we go!
CONGRATULATIONS to Teri & Kevyn!!! You guys must be thrilled, as I know both Nicole and I are most certainly thrilled for you. We cannot wait to meet little Sawyer :)
Hope you all had a very merry Christmas. Ours was restful. Wait, did I say restful? Because I actually meant stressful. Nicole and I were both sick in the weeks prior to Christmas such that were not able to leave the apartment for much of anything apart for some desperate Christmas shopping (which I'm proud to say we were able to pull off). Some points:
A) Thank you to my family, who were far too generous with the gifts and provided us with an amazing meal!
B) Thank you to Nicole's family, who were far too generous with the gifts and provided us with an amazing meal!
C) Thank you to Doug & Kerri, who were far too generous with the gifts and provided us with an amazing meal!
Hey Gadient family! Yes I'm talking to you Shauna, Kevin, Emma, and Daniel! Why have we not seen you yet? The birthdays and Christmas has gone by and yet the gifts remain undelivered on our love seat!?! And the greetings and well wishes remain un-uttered from our mouths! This must be solved by a "get-together" perhaps in your local area (which you may take to mean "Steinbach" or "Your Living Room"). In the proceeding section "we" or "us" refers to the married couple of Tom Sontag and Nicole O'Leary-Sontag and "you" refers to the married couple of Shauna Gadient and Kevin Gadient.
Section 10.2 - The Outing
"We" would like to go out on a double date of sorts with "you" at your earliest convenience. Yes "we" know "you" have children and now a dog (as if you didn't have enough living beings to care for?) which makes it difficult to get out of the house, and that "we" are just the childless friends who do not know what it is like to try to raise two children under that age of six while importing dogs from abroad whose bread according to their wikipedia page are in the "Giant weight range" (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newfoundland_(dog))
Nonetheless it is perhaps good that "you" have friends like "us" who can push you to simply get out for a night without the kids/dog? A table at Peasant Cookery awaits the lot of us at your earliest convenience.
Section 10.3 - Regarding S&M Inc.
It must be stated that our contact with S&M Inc. (provider of laughter and all-around "good times") has been sadly lacking as of late, which I must admit the blame for which lands squarely on our roundish shoulders. We miss you guys and must meet up soon.
Doing away with needless section headings, the event of the year (or next year?) is coming up on January 1st! What event? If you don't know than you are probably not worthy of having me describe to you the joys that can come with an oversized soccer ball, 2-4 dirt bikes, and the best 64 bit graphics 1996 had to offer us. I can almost hear the extra revs as the z-trigger is pressed, feel the tension as the ballots are counted in a questionably undisclosed manner, and taste the cream puffs that have been on the table for the past 6 hours. Friendships are left at the door with the shoes. Pride is won like a cheap trophy bought at a Value Village. Yes, I am most certainly referring to the "7th Annual Excitebike 64 Soccer Tournament".
I should throw out a belated Congratulations to Randy & Jen as well on their recent engagement and upcoming wedding. Rumour has it I'm invited, so I'm pretty psyched.
So how about my brain? It is still around 3 lbs give or take, most of which is still made of of non-cancerous cells. I went for my latest MRI on the 28th. It made the usual beeps and hums and clicks. I don't speak the same language as the machine so I can't tell you how it went. Instead I have to wait until January 6th for my next visit to find out. Again there are a few scenarios that can play out:
#1) The tumour is bigger. This is bad. This means I statistically will only have a few months to live.
#2) The tumour is the same. This is good. It means Nicole and I can live on a knife's edge until the next MRI.
#3) The tumour is smaller. This is gooder. It means Nicole and I can relax (just a tiny bit) knowing that we likely have at least a few months until the thing grows back with a vengeance and kills me (statistically that is).
#4) The tumour is gone. The is the best. Though not possible (short of a miracle) this would mean I'd have my first clean MRI. Would this mean I'd be cured? No. It would mean I'd have millions of cancer cells in my brain, though not enough to show up on an MRI. It would mean that Nicole and I would be able to celebrate for at least a day before being crushed with the reminder that statistically I still would not live for very long.
And the word of the day is... HOPE! Hope is what we go on these days. Statistics matter not. If one in a million can beat this, than I just need to be that one (sorry other 999,999). The next week will be stressful beyond explanation for Nicole and I, up until the "moment of truth", which could result in tears of disappointment, or tears of joy. Either way I plan on crying like a girl. They might feel sorry for me and give me a cookie! Side note: NICOLE WAS AWESOME AND GOT ME A CHOCOLATE BAR FOR CHRISTMAS! But before you think she was trying to kill me... IT WAS MADE WITHOUT SUGAR! Best of all? IT TASTED LIKE IT WAS MADE WITH SUGAR!!! When people ask me if there is any reason to be happy these days I can just say "Well, the other day I had this delicious chocolate bar!"
I love my wife :)
Ok, so what else can I ramble on about. Randy has informed me that "Pinterest" is the newest latest craze, so for those of you who want to be more "with it" than I am you should check it out. I'll probably do so later today, so you have at least 6 hours to get a head start on me.
That be it for now. As per usual I will promise updates to this blog while in reality procrastinate doing so until forced by my own ever-building guilt to do so. It is now 8:07 am, meaning I've put a good hour into this and can return to bed in order to rest up for... whatever it is I'll end up doing today. CHEERS EVERYONE!!!
--
Tom
Friday, December 30, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Merry Christmas to ye all!
And to all a goodnight? I think that is how it goes. Anyways, it's ME! TOM! I haven't blogged in a while and figure now is as good a time as any to do so.
I am BORED! Just a little bit. A couple of weeks trapped in an apartment will do that to a guy. I'm feeling good now, though I have a wife who is most definitely NOT feeling good. We were good enough to take turns (I was sick week 1, her week 2), so I'm hoping week #3 finds us both healthy and well. Where did it all begin?
About two weeks ago Nicole and I decided to treat ourselves to a night out consisting of dinner and a movie. We didn't even get as far as the dinner. We went to Joey's on Kenaston and placed our orders. Before our food even arrived I had a sudden feeling come over me that I find hard to describe other than to say, in using my best 8 year old vocabulary, it was a "bad & yucky" feeling. I had just been to the washroom to blow my nose so I thought perhaps I was just feeling lightheaded. Just in case I warned Nicole "something bad" might be happening. I tried to answer her questions as to how I felt by stating I just felt a sort-of-nauseous feeling come over me and that I could not concentrate in terms of my mental or visual focus. I then felt my head and neck begin to twitch to the left. I figured I was having a seizure. This was a different experience for me, despite having had several seizures previously. Most of my seizures are what I believe are referred to as "Absence Seizures", and not the arms-flailing-wildly "Grand Mal" or "Tonic Clonic" seizures I certainly would have had come to mind when hearing the word "seizure" prior to experiencing any myself. This means I might "zone out" for a moment (maybe a few seconds) and be unresponsive, but otherwise return to "normal" a short while later. Only once did I seem to stay in a seizure-like state, which was when I was deemed to be "status epilepticus" and put into a medically induced coma back in July of this year. Regardless I have very little recollection of any of my past seizures other than the moments leading up to them. This was the first one I can say I was conscious during and can still remember the feelings of to this day. Nicole was (as usual) amazing, and managed to calm me down, as I was feeling quite panicked while having my seizure. She then managed to get me my Ativan (aka: Lorazepam, a drug used to help treat anxiety attacks, seizures, and kill off highly troubled though critically acclaimed pop singers who are about to launch sold-out shows in Europe). The stuff is magic and I can see why one would want to use/abuse it. In my case it helps to stop seizures from happening in a way that someone who has a degree in chemistry or biology might be able to explain.
Nicole informed the waitress that we had to leave and that we needed the yet-to-be delivered meals wrapped "to go". Despite not having any of our beverages we were charged for them, and an accidental press of the 15% tip button meant our server probably had the best tip-to-work ratio of the night, and ensured that at $50, our trip to Joey's was one of the most expensive and least enjoyable "take-out" experiences of recent times.
Nicole informs me I had two additional seizures. One in the car ride home from the restaurant and a second while back in the apartment. I'm sure this was a scary time for her, as I know it was for me, and I wasn't even fully conscious or aware of what was going on. Alas, we made it through that day/night without any of the severe postictal symptoms I've experienced before (such as believing I was in an alternate reality... aka: the "Going Crazy Phase").
Long story made shorter, after getting blood work done, I was cleared to begin Chemotherapy on Wednesday December 14th (which had been delayed from one week prior, December 7th, due to the cold/flu symptoms I was experiencing then). I have since been told I will be referred to a neurologist once an opening becomes available to assess why I still seem to be having seizures regularly (every two months or so on average) despite being on two different anti-seizure medications. I'll let you know how that goes, when it goes, though they warned me it can take a long time to get such an appointment made.
All seemed to be on track when on Monday Nicole started to feel ill. Her illness was less of a common flu/cold and more of a stomach virus or some such thing. I jokingly said I was married to Winnie the Pooh as her tummy was oh so very rumbly. We were hoping it would be a quick thing she would get over before I started Chemo, as when I'm on chemo my white blood cell counts are lowered and I am more susceptible to getting other infections. As it went, she remained (and remains) ill, but despite starting my Chemo this past Wednesday I have not developed any of her current symptoms. Today is Sunday and thus the last of my 5-day chemo stretch and I'm actually feeling about 95% healthy with just a bit of my cough & stuffy head/nose left over from the cold/flu I had before all of this craziness started. With any luck tomorrow will see both of us at 100%, but with Nicole feeling worse today than she did yesterday, that is not looking like the money-making bet.
We now face the wonderful prospect of having to finish our Christmas shopping in the five or so days before Christmas which should be just MAGICAL! Admittedly, I have more shopping to do than Nicole, though as she is my chauffeur she really can't escape the chaos of mall parking (sorry love).
So both of us are reaching stir-crazy levels, as TV can only provide so much relief. I've loaded and unloaded the dishwasher to the point where I need to pointlessly dirty dishes just to keep myself from absolute boredom. I face the unfortunate situation of needing to avoid getting whatever Nicole has, given my reduced immune system at the moment, and me getting whatever she has and knocking me out for the next week+ would BEYOND SUCK, so she's effectively in quarantine in the bedroom. This sounds unfortunate, though I would argue being in "rest-of-the-apartment" quarantine is not much better. I've gotten a lot of reading done, and now a lot of blogging done, but I find I'm surprisingly bored of not doing a whole lot. Maybe I'll run around in the parking lot screaming obscenities for a while. Crazy people always seem to look to have so much fun when they're doing it. That or maybe a nap... in which I dream about running around the parking lot screaming obscenities. The latter has the advantage of me not having to put my jacket or shoes on. Hope you all are in better health than my lovely wife and I and keep in mind that if any of you are finding the stress of the holidays "too much to handle", I would gladly trade places with you for even just 5 minutes of that feeling. Cheers!
--
Tom
PS: GO JETS GO! (I think as a Winnipeg resident I'm legally required to put that in)
I am BORED! Just a little bit. A couple of weeks trapped in an apartment will do that to a guy. I'm feeling good now, though I have a wife who is most definitely NOT feeling good. We were good enough to take turns (I was sick week 1, her week 2), so I'm hoping week #3 finds us both healthy and well. Where did it all begin?
About two weeks ago Nicole and I decided to treat ourselves to a night out consisting of dinner and a movie. We didn't even get as far as the dinner. We went to Joey's on Kenaston and placed our orders. Before our food even arrived I had a sudden feeling come over me that I find hard to describe other than to say, in using my best 8 year old vocabulary, it was a "bad & yucky" feeling. I had just been to the washroom to blow my nose so I thought perhaps I was just feeling lightheaded. Just in case I warned Nicole "something bad" might be happening. I tried to answer her questions as to how I felt by stating I just felt a sort-of-nauseous feeling come over me and that I could not concentrate in terms of my mental or visual focus. I then felt my head and neck begin to twitch to the left. I figured I was having a seizure. This was a different experience for me, despite having had several seizures previously. Most of my seizures are what I believe are referred to as "Absence Seizures", and not the arms-flailing-wildly "Grand Mal" or "Tonic Clonic" seizures I certainly would have had come to mind when hearing the word "seizure" prior to experiencing any myself. This means I might "zone out" for a moment (maybe a few seconds) and be unresponsive, but otherwise return to "normal" a short while later. Only once did I seem to stay in a seizure-like state, which was when I was deemed to be "status epilepticus" and put into a medically induced coma back in July of this year. Regardless I have very little recollection of any of my past seizures other than the moments leading up to them. This was the first one I can say I was conscious during and can still remember the feelings of to this day. Nicole was (as usual) amazing, and managed to calm me down, as I was feeling quite panicked while having my seizure. She then managed to get me my Ativan (aka: Lorazepam, a drug used to help treat anxiety attacks, seizures, and kill off highly troubled though critically acclaimed pop singers who are about to launch sold-out shows in Europe). The stuff is magic and I can see why one would want to use/abuse it. In my case it helps to stop seizures from happening in a way that someone who has a degree in chemistry or biology might be able to explain.
Nicole informed the waitress that we had to leave and that we needed the yet-to-be delivered meals wrapped "to go". Despite not having any of our beverages we were charged for them, and an accidental press of the 15% tip button meant our server probably had the best tip-to-work ratio of the night, and ensured that at $50, our trip to Joey's was one of the most expensive and least enjoyable "take-out" experiences of recent times.
Nicole informs me I had two additional seizures. One in the car ride home from the restaurant and a second while back in the apartment. I'm sure this was a scary time for her, as I know it was for me, and I wasn't even fully conscious or aware of what was going on. Alas, we made it through that day/night without any of the severe postictal symptoms I've experienced before (such as believing I was in an alternate reality... aka: the "Going Crazy Phase").
Long story made shorter, after getting blood work done, I was cleared to begin Chemotherapy on Wednesday December 14th (which had been delayed from one week prior, December 7th, due to the cold/flu symptoms I was experiencing then). I have since been told I will be referred to a neurologist once an opening becomes available to assess why I still seem to be having seizures regularly (every two months or so on average) despite being on two different anti-seizure medications. I'll let you know how that goes, when it goes, though they warned me it can take a long time to get such an appointment made.
All seemed to be on track when on Monday Nicole started to feel ill. Her illness was less of a common flu/cold and more of a stomach virus or some such thing. I jokingly said I was married to Winnie the Pooh as her tummy was oh so very rumbly. We were hoping it would be a quick thing she would get over before I started Chemo, as when I'm on chemo my white blood cell counts are lowered and I am more susceptible to getting other infections. As it went, she remained (and remains) ill, but despite starting my Chemo this past Wednesday I have not developed any of her current symptoms. Today is Sunday and thus the last of my 5-day chemo stretch and I'm actually feeling about 95% healthy with just a bit of my cough & stuffy head/nose left over from the cold/flu I had before all of this craziness started. With any luck tomorrow will see both of us at 100%, but with Nicole feeling worse today than she did yesterday, that is not looking like the money-making bet.
We now face the wonderful prospect of having to finish our Christmas shopping in the five or so days before Christmas which should be just MAGICAL! Admittedly, I have more shopping to do than Nicole, though as she is my chauffeur she really can't escape the chaos of mall parking (sorry love).
So both of us are reaching stir-crazy levels, as TV can only provide so much relief. I've loaded and unloaded the dishwasher to the point where I need to pointlessly dirty dishes just to keep myself from absolute boredom. I face the unfortunate situation of needing to avoid getting whatever Nicole has, given my reduced immune system at the moment, and me getting whatever she has and knocking me out for the next week+ would BEYOND SUCK, so she's effectively in quarantine in the bedroom. This sounds unfortunate, though I would argue being in "rest-of-the-apartment" quarantine is not much better. I've gotten a lot of reading done, and now a lot of blogging done, but I find I'm surprisingly bored of not doing a whole lot. Maybe I'll run around in the parking lot screaming obscenities for a while. Crazy people always seem to look to have so much fun when they're doing it. That or maybe a nap... in which I dream about running around the parking lot screaming obscenities. The latter has the advantage of me not having to put my jacket or shoes on. Hope you all are in better health than my lovely wife and I and keep in mind that if any of you are finding the stress of the holidays "too much to handle", I would gladly trade places with you for even just 5 minutes of that feeling. Cheers!
--
Tom
PS: GO JETS GO! (I think as a Winnipeg resident I'm legally required to put that in)
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
So I'm back in Canada eh?
Ok, I've obviously been home for a while (since November 21st to be exact), but have managed to procrastinate updating my blog until now. Part two of the Mexican Adventure story starts NOW!
The scary taxi ride to our second resort (the "Princess Grand Riviera Maya") surprisingly resulted in no fatalities of anyone of us in or outside of the taxi. The Princess seemed about 200 times better than the "Grand Sirenis Riviera Maya" we left far behind, though that might just have been due to the absolute horrors we experienced at that last resort. The gentleman at the desk was friendly enough and we got to our room. Was it perfect? No. Was it Mexican perfect? Yes. This means it was as good as anyone can reasonably expect from any room at any resort in Mexico as I have now learned. We had a balcony with a decent view. I think Nicole has posted pics on her Facebook page for those interested in what sayings tell me I can only do in 1,000 words (little do they know I would do it in no less than 1,500!) We asked about internet and were told there was a fee and it could only be accessed from the lobby either from their own lobby PCs or our own laptops wirelessly. The rates were varied but came in 30 minutes, 24 hours, or 7 days. There was virtually no difference between 30 minutes and 24 hours, but a large jump to 7 days. Given that we were only going to be at this resort for 5 1/2 days we opted to go with the 24 hours a couple of times during our stay to keep things affordable. Funny story! We were told by more than one hotel employee the internet could only be accessed from the lobby. I have this brilliant wife who says "Why don't we try it from the room anyways?" I go on a rant about how there is no way any Wi-Fi routers they have feet up in the lobby could possibly reach our room which was quite a distance (a good 10 minute walk) from the lobby. So what happens? It works! Not only that we loaded up their own hotel's website which advertises extra pay features including "Internet available in the rooms and some areas". Go figure. Nicole +20 points, desk clerk -10 points. This newfound ability to browse the web from our room turned out to be a curse dressed up as a blessing as Nicole decided to research our new resort and look up some reviews to see how good/bad the rest of our trip might be.
Turns out this Princess resort might be known to some of you. Remember that news story about a year back where some people (including some Canadians) died in an explosion at a resort in Mexico? How much do you want to bet it was the same one we were staying at now? If you bet against a "yes" you are a terrible gambler and a terribly unintelligent person I'm sorry to say (I mean why would I ask unless it was the exact same place?) Feel free to have a look at what the resort looks like after some gas escapes and then explodes:
http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/894364--mexico-resort-partly-closed-after-blast
Remember my wife Nicole "the worrier" O'Leary Sontag? Remember how in the last blog I told you she was worried about every aspect of the trip and specifically how it might put my health in danger? For some reason this newfound "nugget" of information did little-to-nothing to relieve any of her stress. In fact, she became more worried and stressed (if you can believe that?!?) Yes, I'm using a ton of sarcasm here in case it isn't coming across in these rather bland black letters (that will become white once I publish this post). This only added to our dislike for WestJet Vacations, given that we asked the rep specifically about both resorts we were given as options to transfer to (and what some pros and cons might be of each). I get that they don't want to advertise the fact the place exploded almost one year prior, however an "oh by the way..." would have been nice.
Aside from that the trip was fairly enjoyable. The food was 50/50 good/bad. The buffet was the latter of the 50's, while the à la carte restaurants were fantastic. We got to choose six à la cartes, which given our 6 night stay meant one for every dinner. We chose Oriental, Sushi, Grill (think cows and chickens), Temppanyaki (think Ichiban), Mexican, and finally Swiss (Fondu). Oddly enough the Oriental was by far the best while the Mexican came in a bottom of the list last.
Going to an "all inclusive" Mexican resort was obviously a fantastic idea given that I cannot drink (due to pills that affect my liver), should not ingest too much sugar (given the anaerobic cell functioning going on in the cancer cells in my brain), and should avoid direct sunlight (due to one of the medications I am on, and possibly some other reasons I cannot recall). I enjoyed many free waters and wore special sunscreen so thick people should have been calling me "Casper". I literally could "lather up" in the morning, go swimming in the ocean, swim in the pool, shower off in the afternoon, and still have adequate sun protection for the rest of the day. The water would bead off of me. I was wondering if going into the ocean might cause the locals to think Moses was near by however the effects were not quite so dramatic. The purpose of the trip was merely to find some sort of "rest and relaxation" away from the cold, away from Winnipeg, away from the hospital visits, and away from the stress. Thankfully we visited no hospitals while in Me-hi-co, and it was relatively warm the whole time we were there, the stress never does seem to go away. I did manage to enjoy the last several days at the resort and I think there is a chance Nicole herself did enjoy brief moments of SRSL (slightly reduced stress levels), though you would have to ask her.
Nonetheless we are back in Winnipeg now and facing all of the wonderful stresses (stressors) we are used to, which ironically brings some sort of comfort in and of itself. Hope you all have a good day/week/month/year and such and update you when I have more to say. Oh, and... CHEERS!!!
--
Tom
PS: I'm not proofreading this one, so bonus points to all who can find and point out any spelling/grammatical errors.
The scary taxi ride to our second resort (the "Princess Grand Riviera Maya") surprisingly resulted in no fatalities of anyone of us in or outside of the taxi. The Princess seemed about 200 times better than the "Grand Sirenis Riviera Maya" we left far behind, though that might just have been due to the absolute horrors we experienced at that last resort. The gentleman at the desk was friendly enough and we got to our room. Was it perfect? No. Was it Mexican perfect? Yes. This means it was as good as anyone can reasonably expect from any room at any resort in Mexico as I have now learned. We had a balcony with a decent view. I think Nicole has posted pics on her Facebook page for those interested in what sayings tell me I can only do in 1,000 words (little do they know I would do it in no less than 1,500!) We asked about internet and were told there was a fee and it could only be accessed from the lobby either from their own lobby PCs or our own laptops wirelessly. The rates were varied but came in 30 minutes, 24 hours, or 7 days. There was virtually no difference between 30 minutes and 24 hours, but a large jump to 7 days. Given that we were only going to be at this resort for 5 1/2 days we opted to go with the 24 hours a couple of times during our stay to keep things affordable. Funny story! We were told by more than one hotel employee the internet could only be accessed from the lobby. I have this brilliant wife who says "Why don't we try it from the room anyways?" I go on a rant about how there is no way any Wi-Fi routers they have feet up in the lobby could possibly reach our room which was quite a distance (a good 10 minute walk) from the lobby. So what happens? It works! Not only that we loaded up their own hotel's website which advertises extra pay features including "Internet available in the rooms and some areas". Go figure. Nicole +20 points, desk clerk -10 points. This newfound ability to browse the web from our room turned out to be a curse dressed up as a blessing as Nicole decided to research our new resort and look up some reviews to see how good/bad the rest of our trip might be.
Turns out this Princess resort might be known to some of you. Remember that news story about a year back where some people (including some Canadians) died in an explosion at a resort in Mexico? How much do you want to bet it was the same one we were staying at now? If you bet against a "yes" you are a terrible gambler and a terribly unintelligent person I'm sorry to say (I mean why would I ask unless it was the exact same place?) Feel free to have a look at what the resort looks like after some gas escapes and then explodes:
http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/894364--mexico-resort-partly-closed-after-blast
Remember my wife Nicole "the worrier" O'Leary Sontag? Remember how in the last blog I told you she was worried about every aspect of the trip and specifically how it might put my health in danger? For some reason this newfound "nugget" of information did little-to-nothing to relieve any of her stress. In fact, she became more worried and stressed (if you can believe that?!?) Yes, I'm using a ton of sarcasm here in case it isn't coming across in these rather bland black letters (that will become white once I publish this post). This only added to our dislike for WestJet Vacations, given that we asked the rep specifically about both resorts we were given as options to transfer to (and what some pros and cons might be of each). I get that they don't want to advertise the fact the place exploded almost one year prior, however an "oh by the way..." would have been nice.
Aside from that the trip was fairly enjoyable. The food was 50/50 good/bad. The buffet was the latter of the 50's, while the à la carte restaurants were fantastic. We got to choose six à la cartes, which given our 6 night stay meant one for every dinner. We chose Oriental, Sushi, Grill (think cows and chickens), Temppanyaki (think Ichiban), Mexican, and finally Swiss (Fondu). Oddly enough the Oriental was by far the best while the Mexican came in a bottom of the list last.
Going to an "all inclusive" Mexican resort was obviously a fantastic idea given that I cannot drink (due to pills that affect my liver), should not ingest too much sugar (given the anaerobic cell functioning going on in the cancer cells in my brain), and should avoid direct sunlight (due to one of the medications I am on, and possibly some other reasons I cannot recall). I enjoyed many free waters and wore special sunscreen so thick people should have been calling me "Casper". I literally could "lather up" in the morning, go swimming in the ocean, swim in the pool, shower off in the afternoon, and still have adequate sun protection for the rest of the day. The water would bead off of me. I was wondering if going into the ocean might cause the locals to think Moses was near by however the effects were not quite so dramatic. The purpose of the trip was merely to find some sort of "rest and relaxation" away from the cold, away from Winnipeg, away from the hospital visits, and away from the stress. Thankfully we visited no hospitals while in Me-hi-co, and it was relatively warm the whole time we were there, the stress never does seem to go away. I did manage to enjoy the last several days at the resort and I think there is a chance Nicole herself did enjoy brief moments of SRSL (slightly reduced stress levels), though you would have to ask her.
Nonetheless we are back in Winnipeg now and facing all of the wonderful stresses (stressors) we are used to, which ironically brings some sort of comfort in and of itself. Hope you all have a good day/week/month/year and such and update you when I have more to say. Oh, and... CHEERS!!!
--
Tom
PS: I'm not proofreading this one, so bonus points to all who can find and point out any spelling/grammatical errors.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Greetings from ME-HE-CO!
Hola Blog Readers,
The rumours [I started] about my going to Mexico have turned
out to be true. I am in fact in Mexico (or Me-he-co as I like to call it). It
all came about when Nicole found a last minute deal to stay at an all-inclusive
resort through WestJet Vacations on RedTag. We agreed that a trip was exactly
what we needed as life was getting stressful at home and with the winter
quickly coming and Christmas shopping around the bend, this might be our last
good chance to get away and enjoy ourselves before the end of the year. As luck
would have it the weeklong trip did not conflict with any of my usual hospital
visits or checkups. The only problem was that we only had a couple of days to
decide whether to book it or not. Of course there were (as there always are)
many reasons against going. I’m sure you’ve read the list I’ve put on this blog
prior about having to possibly be subjected to x-rays at the airport,
additional radiation from being on a plane, changes in pressure from the plane
causing swelling inside my head, increase risk of blood clots, odd waking &
sleeping schedules increasing the likelihood of a seizure, having to be away
from my medical team, being in a country of questionable food quality and standards,
an unknown medical system, and so on, and so on. All of these were hurdles for
us to overcome in order to enjoy a “relaxing week away”. Oh, and stress for me
is not good [insert overly long description of oxygen saturation levels and
anaerobic cell functioning].
I managed to convince Nicole “the worrier” O’Leary-Sontag
that it was worth all of the “what-if’s” to go on this trip. We ended up at a
resort that was listed as a 5-Star, but in actuality was what a 5-Star would be
if one of the stars murdered a couple of the other stars and then committed
suicide. In other words the resort was badly misrepresented in all of the
online descriptions and photos. To start
with, the entire resort seemed to be flat and slick stone walkways. Great idea
right? Classy look yes… safe when wet? No. It happened to be raining when we
first arrived and saw many people & children falling all over the place. I
grant you on TV this would have been funny to watch (provided no serious
injuries ensued), however one serious blow to my head could in fact kill me. Secondly,
the room smelled mustier than an old lady’s basement in which she kept bags of
old wet laundry and cats (whether the cats are in bags or just loose in the
basement is up to your imagination). Now it turns out ol’ Tom here has
allergies to mould, dust, penicillin, trees, and some other things. Mould and
dust would be the two that stick out in a room that was humid beyond belief and
very unclean (the hairdryer looked like it had about 3 months worth of “scudge”
built up on, in, and around it). We were unimpressed. We returned to the front
desk where they were shocked that the room would have been like that and said
they unfortunately had no other rooms with king beds available. With some
protest they were able to “find” another room for us to check out. Surprise
surprise, the second room was also incredibly musty and had the usual joys
(hairs in the bathtub, questionable stains on the bedding, etc.) and so it was
back to the lobby for us. Keep in mind this was all after having had to wake up
at 4:00 am to make it to the airport back in Winnipeg. Oh, and did I not
mention that part???
So, Nicole’s sister (and my now “sister-in-law” Jen) was
nice enough to drive us to the airport at 4:00am in order to get us to our
early flight on time. We cleared security in no time and figured we’d find a
comfy spot to relax. Over the course of our waiting we heard 15 calls (ok,
maybe 8, but exaggerating is way more fun) for the flight to Calgary, 22 (6)
for the flight to Montreal and 0 (zero) for the flight to Cancun. Nicole at one
point said, “Hey, we should go to the gate area to see what’s going on”. Upon
arriving at the gate we saw 0 (zero) passengers waiting and 1 (one) angry
panicked WestJet employee saying “Are you heading to Cancun? You’d better get
on that plane in a hurry, they’re unloading your bags and are about to take
off!!!” So far all is calm and relaxed right? As I see it, at least we didn’t
have to wait in any lines. Upon getting on the plane (and getting that
wonderful “Oh, you’re the idiots that made us wait here” look from our fellow passengers)
we asked a flight attendant about the status of our luggage. He assured us that
the employee at the other end of the terminal was just a bit over exaggerating
and that they wouldn’t have even begun to unload our luggage for at least
another 10-15 minutes. So far so good!!!
Now is when we get to Mexico and try to navigate the airport
with some moderate success. Again the stress levels are high as we manage to
find our tour operator who will take us to our resort (the crappy one I was
describing before I interrupted myself). Unfortunately we had to wait, as two
of the passengers scheduled to be on our shuttle could not be located
(thankfully they were not us). This meant standing in the hot humid air outside
of the airport watching for hours as busloads of other people got on their way.
Funny story side note time.
FUNNY SIDE NOTE: I took this neuro-psych test a few weeks
back that was designed to test my cognitive abilities and certain motor
functions, etc. just to see what brain functioning I have that might have been
affected by my tumour or the surgery to remove some of it late last year. I
received a phone call from the resident medical student running my test telling
me that I was best to come in for my follow up very shortly as the doctor was
going to be going on a vacation for a couple of weeks to “some place warm” and
thus I would have to wait a while to get my results if I did not make it in the
day or two following his phone call. Where did she go? Turned out she was
standing in the same area waiting for a shuttle bus just outside the Mexican
(Cancun) airport with her (I assume) husband. [Insert “It’s a small world after
all” being sung by little children]. </FUNNY SIDE NOTE> //HTML JOKE (I’m
a nerd)
After two hours in the hot sun at the airport we finally got
our shuttle, which took us on the long ride to the resort. If I recall
correctly we arrived in Mexico just before noon, and didn’t leave the airport
until 2:00 in the afternoon or so. At this point Nicole was running solely on
two bags of Bits ‘N Bites, while I had the same plus some Pop Chips in my
system to sustain me. Now I can return to the story…
So given it is now past 3 in the afternoon and Nicole and I
are both starving and tired (both understatements) and still have yet to be
assigned a decent room, we are not happy. Back at the front desk the gentleman
(code word for “asshole”, but I’m trying to keep this a clean blog) suggested
we settle for a room with two double beds as surely a third room would meet our
expectations. After much discussion it turned out he did have other king beds
available on the main floor of some buildings “if that was okay by us”. We said
we didn’t care what floor the room was on as long as it had the king bed we
asked (and paid) for plus was clean and I could breathe in it. Off to room
number three we went, by now knowing the shuttle cart route by heart (yet not
having seen any pools, the beach, or any food… our suitcases remaining very
unpacked). Want to guess the condition
of room number four? It was perhaps worst of all.
We finally went back to the front lobby and asked to speak
to the WestJet representative we were told would be at the hotel. Of course
there was no WestJet employee but rather a “Best Day Travel” representative who
WestJet contracted with to look after things in their absence. The gentleman
from Best Day was nice enough, but basically had no authority to do anything
for us. He could only put us on the phone with the actual WestJet rep. The
WestJet rep was only willing to do what the hotel would offer us, which was to
continuously show us room after room until we found one that we “liked”. I
found this insulting, as we weren’t being picky because we didn’t like the
colour of the drapes or some such thing. We just wanted what we paid for in a
room that didn’t cause undue risk to my fragile state of health. Again after
much heated debate we agreed to look at “one last room” which we were assured
would be clean and not musty. It was musty and was not clean in the sense of
the word that would be defined as “not dirty at all”, but it was the best of
all five we had seen and so settled for it as we had to eat and change our
clothes at the very least. The representative informed us she would be at the
hotel at 10am the next morning and would “try to get something worked out” but
that switching resorts was very tricky and not something that could be done
quickly. Also they were unwilling or unable to extend our stay by a day as we
argued our entire first day had been wasted as we were in no way able to enjoy
any part of it while being shuttled between various rooms and the lobby with no
satisfying result in the end. We ordered some room service food, which turned
out to be the farthest thing from edible in the room (next to the must cushions
and sheets of course). After unpacking only the clothes we needed to wear the
next day (as there was no way we were going to stay at the resort one
additional day) we managed to take a brief walk at night in the dark. Oh, and did I mention the smell? The very un-"Grand" Grand Sirenis hotel and resort had a very unique smell of what I would describe as "raw sewage"wafting about the hotel grounds. So even though it was hard to see in the dark at least one of our senses got to enjoy some stimulation. GREAT START
TO THE FUN & THE SUN!
Sparing you all of the dragged out details we managed to get
the WestJet rep to set us up at a different resort for the remainder of our
stay in Mexico. The highlights of the process were that she (WestJet) was going
to charge us a transfer fee and would not be able to transport us to the second
resort (meaning we would have to arrange for and pay for a taxi ourselves). She
also could only offer us two options based upon brief descriptions which she
would then send to head office to be reviewed and sent back to her with details
about additional costs, etc. She could not show us any pictures or information
about the other resorts and we only had her word and descriptions to go by. We
asked her if she or the hotel could provide us with at least 30 minutes
complimentary Internet to research these resorts, which we were told they could
(would) not. Nicole and I paid for half an hour of Internet time and used the
world’s slowest PC’s to see what the resorts our rep had suggested looked like.
Neither was fantastic, but we picked the best out of the two and researched an
additional one ourselves. We went back to the rep who told us she could get us
in to our pick of the two for less that $200 and that she would waive the
transfer fee. Asking about the third resort we found she contacted head office
again and was told the additional fee would be $1000. We went with the <$200
resort hoping this 5-Star would provide us with some rest and relaxation in
what would now become a 5 ½ day Mexican vacation. But we weren’t out of the
Grand Sirenes just yet. Upon checking out just after noon, the same “gentleman”
as before told us we could not leave until we paid our phone bill for the room.
We informed him we had only made two calls and that both were to WestJet
Vacations using their 1-800 number to sort out the whole mess with their
falsely advertised hotel. He told us this did not matter and that unless we
paid the 100 pesos, we were not allowed to leave (as in they would not release
our luggage which they were holding at the front). It turned out that this
worked out to $8.67 CDN. We asked to speak to the manager. Of course he was the
“assistant manager”. We asked to see his manager, however his manager was in a
meeting and would not be available for a while. His main argument was that the
phone charge had “nothing to do with the hotel” and was directly charged by the
phone company, thus there was “nothing [he] could do”. I’ve been to business
school and I think waiving an $8 charge is something any business can and
should do if it means really upsetting an already irate customer, but I guess
at that point it was evident we would never return to the hotel anyways, and so
why not push our buttons just a little bit more.
$8.67 later we were in the back seat of a cab with only one
working seatbelt and our luggage in the back. The story goes on from here, but
I’m currently on the balcony of our hotel and the rain has just stopped. Rest
assured that both Nicole and I are both safe and sound and have eaten several
meals (of varying quality) since we’ve gotten to the “Princess Riviera Maya”.
The fun stories do continue though, so stay tuned!!! And lastly, before I go, I
offer you some Mexican CHEERS! J
Friday, October 28, 2011
On the other hand
Hello Blog readers!
Went to the Michael Jackson Cirque du Soleil show the other night with my lovely wife. WOW! Blew my mind. Simply awesome! And the show was good too ;)
But this is not a show review...
I wanted to create a quick post to give an example of the dynamics between a couple dealing with a serious issue (such as a primary malignant brain tumour). Let's say the husband's name is "Tom" and the wife's name is "Nicole" ("Nic" for short). This cute couple dated for 3+ years before deciding they were ready to start their lives together. The husband got prepared to ask his girlfriend to marry him and picked out a date to do so. Meanwhile the husband and wife began to look for a place to live together. Then "life" said "WHOA! Hold on just a minute there!" Life (aka: 'Glioblastoma Multiforme' in this case) is a tough thing to mess with. It decided Tom and Nicole should have a more difficult time than they would have hoped in starting their lives together. It changed their short and long term plans quite drastically. It changed a multi-year engagement into a "as fast as we can" engagement. But I've already told that story...
What I wanted to discuss was the day-to-day lives Tom and his wife now deal with. The relationship they share is a wonderful thing they both cherish and enjoy deeper than either could ever express in words. The problem is that dealing with day-to-day problems becomes exponentially harder when brain tumours are involved (see also: terminal illness in general). Tom has taken on an approach that he should distance himself from Nicole to protect her from the feeling of loss should he "die tomorrow". He did not want any petty argument to be the last interaction they had for her sake. What he did not realize was that, while his intentions were good, what he was in fact doing was making Nicole feel more sad at times. She thankfully explained to him that she would rather have those petty arguments and at the end of the day feel closer to the husband she loved so so very much. In addition, she pointed out that having even "petty arguments" might lead to the underlying issues causing such arguments being resolved, thus creating a better overall marriage with LESS conflict in the days to come. Plus she pointed out that her husband had already promised to live forever so all of this was a moot point.
I'm not sure why I chose to speak in the third person above, but it seemed appropriate at the time. Back to the first person I go! I have found that most of my instincts to protect Nicole have caused her more harm than good. I used to avoid telling her if I was feeling "off" (for example of I had a headache) because I did not want her to worry about me at that moment. What this instead did, was cause her to lose any trust or faith in me in knowing that if I was suffering in any way I was unlikely to tell her. This lead her to constantly watch me for any signs that I was experiencing pain of any sort. She would ask me if I was alright 20 times an hour, to the point where I began to get frustrated that I was being asked so many times. She was correct however, in pointing out that if I was feeling off I wouldn't say anything unless she asked (if even then). I soon learned (as discussed in earlier posts) to be open and honest fully with her, treating the illness as "our illness" instead of "my illness". In a sense pretending she had a disease for which she could not directly "feel" any symptoms but instead relied upon me to describe to her fully and in detail what "we" were experiencing. Doing so lead to a much closer sense of "us" and less conflict in our relationship (not that there was a whole lot to begin with).
I now realize (thanks to Nicole) that consciously or unconsciously keeping my wife at a distance (by avoiding eye contact, rarely initiating conversation with her, or involving her in my 'daily plans') is definitely the wrong way to handle things. My thinking of "well I might be gone soon, so she should get used to this" is robbing her of the days we DO have together (not to mention my plans to live much much longer than just a few weeks/months/years). I don't know why I thought doing this would be a good thing... I think it just sort of "happened". I'm writing this now for the sake of any other husband or wife in a similar situation to perhaps bring about a pause in thought to explore whether they/you are doing the same?
A last topic for today will be our differing points of view. I am the "unrealistic optimist" while Nicole is the "down to earth realist". This causes a lot of tension in our marriage as it applies to my medical situation as I have a "don't worry... things will work out!" attitude. Nicole does not often share this sentiment. She has good evidence behind her point of view (as proven with my once stated "don't worry, I'll never get cancer or any other serious disease"). Admittedly I was a little off on that one. Our attitudes lead us to take different actions on the matter at hand. Nicole doesn't rely on a "things will work out" belief and thus puts much of the responsibility for my health and our future on her own shoulders. She is researching "Glioblastoma" information, research trials, news releases, and such almost every waking hour of the day (this includes the many hours she "should" be sleeping). I don't bother with too much of that (if any) and live day-to-day relatively stress free. Nicole meanwhile deals with 100% stress and 200% guilt thinking that if anything happened to me it would be her fault for not having done enough research or not having known enough about my cancer (despite the fact this is not possible for any human being). Alas, I must realize a marriage is a two person venture. I must for both her sake AND my own, take up doing much more research and become an active participant in my health and treatments. My social worker pointed out to me one day the flaw in my "things will work out" line of thinking. She accurately observed that "things work out" now because of Nicole and because I am married. I pointed out how stressed Nic gets when doing any trip planning and how I don't worry in the least as "things work out". My social worker asked "Yes, but would things still work out if your wife didn't put in hours of planning and research while you sat back and did nothing?" I hadn't quite thought of it that way until that moment. This goes for brain cancer research, trip planning, meal planning, and what to wear to the next wedding. I leave it to the day of on most of these things. Nicole, KNOWING I do this, plans much in advance as much for me as she does for herself (and the collective "we") and thus things do work out just as I always predict. So that means we're both right doesn't it? I think so ;)
Quick health update: I've had some weird eye twitchy stuff happening lately. My eyes seem to 'vibrate' very rapidly (very similar to when I have had seizures in the past) though not in a constant way. My medical team has adjusted my meds to see if it makes a difference. Again, the fear is that if I were to have prolonged seizure activity in my brain I could die from it. This eye thing started a few days ago, and I'm not dead yet, so odds are it's not intense seizure activity - if seizure activity at all. As per usual this stressed Nicole 800 times more than it does me, as I cannot see my own eyes twitching at all (my vision is as flawless as it was pre eye-twitching) however Nicole can see it when she focuses on my eyes (instilling a sense of fear/panic in her). Life must suck to be her. Hope you are all enjoying your Friday! Happy almost Halloween to you all eh?!
Cheers!
--
Tom
Went to the Michael Jackson Cirque du Soleil show the other night with my lovely wife. WOW! Blew my mind. Simply awesome! And the show was good too ;)
But this is not a show review...
I wanted to create a quick post to give an example of the dynamics between a couple dealing with a serious issue (such as a primary malignant brain tumour). Let's say the husband's name is "Tom" and the wife's name is "Nicole" ("Nic" for short). This cute couple dated for 3+ years before deciding they were ready to start their lives together. The husband got prepared to ask his girlfriend to marry him and picked out a date to do so. Meanwhile the husband and wife began to look for a place to live together. Then "life" said "WHOA! Hold on just a minute there!" Life (aka: 'Glioblastoma Multiforme' in this case) is a tough thing to mess with. It decided Tom and Nicole should have a more difficult time than they would have hoped in starting their lives together. It changed their short and long term plans quite drastically. It changed a multi-year engagement into a "as fast as we can" engagement. But I've already told that story...
What I wanted to discuss was the day-to-day lives Tom and his wife now deal with. The relationship they share is a wonderful thing they both cherish and enjoy deeper than either could ever express in words. The problem is that dealing with day-to-day problems becomes exponentially harder when brain tumours are involved (see also: terminal illness in general). Tom has taken on an approach that he should distance himself from Nicole to protect her from the feeling of loss should he "die tomorrow". He did not want any petty argument to be the last interaction they had for her sake. What he did not realize was that, while his intentions were good, what he was in fact doing was making Nicole feel more sad at times. She thankfully explained to him that she would rather have those petty arguments and at the end of the day feel closer to the husband she loved so so very much. In addition, she pointed out that having even "petty arguments" might lead to the underlying issues causing such arguments being resolved, thus creating a better overall marriage with LESS conflict in the days to come. Plus she pointed out that her husband had already promised to live forever so all of this was a moot point.
I'm not sure why I chose to speak in the third person above, but it seemed appropriate at the time. Back to the first person I go! I have found that most of my instincts to protect Nicole have caused her more harm than good. I used to avoid telling her if I was feeling "off" (for example of I had a headache) because I did not want her to worry about me at that moment. What this instead did, was cause her to lose any trust or faith in me in knowing that if I was suffering in any way I was unlikely to tell her. This lead her to constantly watch me for any signs that I was experiencing pain of any sort. She would ask me if I was alright 20 times an hour, to the point where I began to get frustrated that I was being asked so many times. She was correct however, in pointing out that if I was feeling off I wouldn't say anything unless she asked (if even then). I soon learned (as discussed in earlier posts) to be open and honest fully with her, treating the illness as "our illness" instead of "my illness". In a sense pretending she had a disease for which she could not directly "feel" any symptoms but instead relied upon me to describe to her fully and in detail what "we" were experiencing. Doing so lead to a much closer sense of "us" and less conflict in our relationship (not that there was a whole lot to begin with).
I now realize (thanks to Nicole) that consciously or unconsciously keeping my wife at a distance (by avoiding eye contact, rarely initiating conversation with her, or involving her in my 'daily plans') is definitely the wrong way to handle things. My thinking of "well I might be gone soon, so she should get used to this" is robbing her of the days we DO have together (not to mention my plans to live much much longer than just a few weeks/months/years). I don't know why I thought doing this would be a good thing... I think it just sort of "happened". I'm writing this now for the sake of any other husband or wife in a similar situation to perhaps bring about a pause in thought to explore whether they/you are doing the same?
A last topic for today will be our differing points of view. I am the "unrealistic optimist" while Nicole is the "down to earth realist". This causes a lot of tension in our marriage as it applies to my medical situation as I have a "don't worry... things will work out!" attitude. Nicole does not often share this sentiment. She has good evidence behind her point of view (as proven with my once stated "don't worry, I'll never get cancer or any other serious disease"). Admittedly I was a little off on that one. Our attitudes lead us to take different actions on the matter at hand. Nicole doesn't rely on a "things will work out" belief and thus puts much of the responsibility for my health and our future on her own shoulders. She is researching "Glioblastoma" information, research trials, news releases, and such almost every waking hour of the day (this includes the many hours she "should" be sleeping). I don't bother with too much of that (if any) and live day-to-day relatively stress free. Nicole meanwhile deals with 100% stress and 200% guilt thinking that if anything happened to me it would be her fault for not having done enough research or not having known enough about my cancer (despite the fact this is not possible for any human being). Alas, I must realize a marriage is a two person venture. I must for both her sake AND my own, take up doing much more research and become an active participant in my health and treatments. My social worker pointed out to me one day the flaw in my "things will work out" line of thinking. She accurately observed that "things work out" now because of Nicole and because I am married. I pointed out how stressed Nic gets when doing any trip planning and how I don't worry in the least as "things work out". My social worker asked "Yes, but would things still work out if your wife didn't put in hours of planning and research while you sat back and did nothing?" I hadn't quite thought of it that way until that moment. This goes for brain cancer research, trip planning, meal planning, and what to wear to the next wedding. I leave it to the day of on most of these things. Nicole, KNOWING I do this, plans much in advance as much for me as she does for herself (and the collective "we") and thus things do work out just as I always predict. So that means we're both right doesn't it? I think so ;)
Quick health update: I've had some weird eye twitchy stuff happening lately. My eyes seem to 'vibrate' very rapidly (very similar to when I have had seizures in the past) though not in a constant way. My medical team has adjusted my meds to see if it makes a difference. Again, the fear is that if I were to have prolonged seizure activity in my brain I could die from it. This eye thing started a few days ago, and I'm not dead yet, so odds are it's not intense seizure activity - if seizure activity at all. As per usual this stressed Nicole 800 times more than it does me, as I cannot see my own eyes twitching at all (my vision is as flawless as it was pre eye-twitching) however Nicole can see it when she focuses on my eyes (instilling a sense of fear/panic in her). Life must suck to be her. Hope you are all enjoying your Friday! Happy almost Halloween to you all eh?!
Cheers!
--
Tom
Friday, October 7, 2011
Yay!
Good news, my oncologist has informed me that my tumour is looking "better"! When I asked him what "better" meant he informed me it was noticeably smaller to the point he could tell this by looking at the MRI himself. I think that is a good thing! I'm still feeling a bit fatigued these days, but the nurse told me this could be a result of the number of things. I'm a little high on the level of one of my medications which could cause some fatigue, however they were not sure if the high level from my last blood test was an accurate representation of the true levels in my system. I had more blood work done today, but the results were not ready when I had my visit with the oncologist. Of course there is always the potential for the tumour to reverse course and begin to grow again, but we will not worry about that right now. Again, I shall have another MRI in about 3 months time and then results shortly after that. I'll probably get my next schedule in the mail soon enough. Thanks everyone for all of the thoughts, prayers, and well-wishes. It all helps and has clearly made a difference so far. Have a Happy Thanksgiving weekend everyone! I shall continue to post updates as my life goes on. I still have many of life's regular challenges to face like angry Taxi drivers driving into me and MPI deciding that I'm 100% at fault for such things. Remind me to rant about MPI and Taxi drivers soon eh? CHEERS!
--
Tom
--
Tom
Sunday, October 2, 2011
And the Train Pulls into Urination Station
The title of this blog entry should clue you in to the fact that this will most certainly NOT be a serious blog post. I have had my MRI this past Sunday, and now must wait a week to get my results. The serious blog entry can come then.
No, this blog entry is my thoughts as a man on the ol' #1. Now most male readers will find my writings to be "common knowledge" (lest I have some other medical / psychological issues I do not myself know about). For the females it will hopefully be an informative and eye-opening expose into what goes on in the men's washroom. Consider it my entry into the world of journalism, which I have no intention of entering. Why write about peeing? Well, "Why not?" comes to mind, but I suppose it is because in recent conversations I have found that members of the other sex find 'amazing' things I assumed were common knowledge to all. I feel it is my duty to let ye gals know what goes on behind the door with the little male outline on it.
First let us talk about the wonderful world of urinals. Yes we men have the ability to pee standing up! You probably knew this. I suppose you do too, but we can aim and thus urinals allow us the ability to do so without making a terrible and unpleasant mess. Urinals are a fantastic invention that probably goes back ages (I'm not an investigative journalist). Urinal etiquette is something that should be followed by all men at all times. There are two types of urinal set-ups: The divider and the non-divider. Obviously the former is preferable unless you are a really creepy individual. In a divider situation the rules are relaxed, however alternate urinal positioning is still preferred. In the dividerless set-up a strict alternate (or "every other") choice should be used. This reduces the number of urinals that can be used at once but maintains a comfort level for all involved. If walking into an empty washroom with only three urinals, a man must never choose the middle urinal for this leaves no available urinals open for use (forcing other men to choose a stall). Regardless of divider presence a man must also never choose a stall if urinals (with empty-adjacents) are available. This leaves the impression the man is not comfortable with urinal use and thus will be looked at (rightly) as less of a man.
At times men might find themselves in a situation where "Stagefright" (as my homeboy Kev from Steinbach recently put it to me) sets in. This is most common when in a dividerless urinal system side-by-side with another man (let us assume/hope the other man came in after you and violated the urinal code). As you might have guessed this condition is due to the fact that peeing requires total relaxation and comfort with one's washroom surroundings. A man nearly rubbing elbows with you is enough to induce "stagefright" leaving you unable to urinate. Diving into this situation a little further we then can ask "What can be done about this?" Obviously standing against a urinal with one's pants undone implies a sort of "time limit". After several minutes of a curious absence of sound will arouse suspicion from other washroom attendees (most of all that guy standing too close to you). They are obviously starting to realize you have "stagefright" and thus will (rightly) determine you are less of a man. I have often found "trash talking" the space violator in one's head is enough to overcome the "stagefright". In the event too much time has elapsed the only remaining option is to of course pretend you have in fact finished and proceed to the washing of the hands. Further complication lies in the fact you have not yet urinated and still very much need to do so. A favourite tactic of mine is the "ridiculously long hand wash" used in the hopes the other guy is a quick hand-washer or, given his ignorance of the urinal code might even be a non-hand-washer. If this is the case a return to the urinal is possible. HOWEVER: this is only possible if the washroom is now empty. If there is anyone else in the room they will notice and question your second trip to the wall porcelain. I realize this is starting to seem complicated, and believe me it is. It is a burden us men must carry with us each and every day.
To address a question I'm sure some of you females are asking "Why don't you just do like we do? Pick a stall and pee sitting down? (thus avoiding the noise a stand-up stall pee-er generates and the demasculinity that follows). Seriously? LOL. Ok, I'm still laughing out loud, but to explain: We are men. Aside from our nuts and a Y chromosome, peeing standing up is about all we've got to hold on to. Those guys you see leaving the gym with super bulked up muscles are probably just compensating for the fact that they pee sitting down. You must also consider the physics of the standard toilet. The good people of American Standard know that men don't pee sitting down and thus have created a perfectly oval shaped bowl. A guy sitting down atop such a toilet has certain bodily protrusions that risk coming into contact with the bowl. If there is any part of your body that, as a man, you do NOT want touching the inside of a toilet bowl you can imagine what it is. Now perhaps I just have a larger appendage than most but... [ladies?]*
*SORRY NICOLE! I COULD NOT RESIST!!!
Ok, that covers most of the issues with urinals. Let us say that a man walks into a standard small-town restaurant bathroom and darned if there is no urinal to be found. It is considered rude in our culture to simply pee on the wall in such cases and thus the bowl must be used. Many problems arise here as well. Obviously our wives/girlfriends/sisters/mothers/female friends have trained us to raise the toilet seat before hand (and lower it post "freeing of our bladders"). Still we are looking at a two foot (approximate) distance from launch point to target. A lot can go wrong along the way. First one must stay focused on the task at hand. Did someone just knock at the door? Ignore it. Turning to see will only leave you an unfortunate mess to clean up. There is also the problem of partial blockage. Lint may be the culprit, but whatever it is we all know what happens when we put our thumbs over only half of the end of the garden hose... increased pressure and severely affected aim. This could be anywhere from a 10 to a 45 degree variance. The best defence is a quick correction of stance requiring cat-like reflexes. Even a new stance can leave the best of us vulnerable if the blockage suddenly becomes freed requiring a further reversal of stance.
To all of the young boys out there reading this post, I want you to know I was once where you might be now. Growing up in a world where no one taught you about washroom rules, urinal etiquette, or solutions to the problems most of us face on a weekly (if not daily) basis. I myself did not use a urinal until middle school (called "Juniour High" in my days) for my extreme anxiety about using them. I was made fun of by my peers and at times had wet paper towels thrown at me over the stall walls while chants "your a little girl" followed. Knowing sitting down was not an option I tried my best to use the "aim for the part of the bowl where there is no water" strategy. It worked with moderate success until I finally got up the courage to be a man and use the wall porcelain. Alas, I was a late bloomer. I did not start abusing alcohol until around the age of 21, which was also the time I first went to a bar. Perhaps related to this was that year also being the year I first kissed a girl and had a girlfriend. Now, at 27, I'm happily married and pee wherever the law will allow me to do so.
I await the telling of the female's perspective on the "behind the door with the human figure wearing a dress on it" at a future point. Until then I will assume it to be the gossip / makeup / partying / anything but using the washroom -fest I currently believe it to be.
...Oh, and I'm doing great medically and have had no issues in the past while. Life continues to rock only totally.
CHEERS!
--
Tom
No, this blog entry is my thoughts as a man on the ol' #1. Now most male readers will find my writings to be "common knowledge" (lest I have some other medical / psychological issues I do not myself know about). For the females it will hopefully be an informative and eye-opening expose into what goes on in the men's washroom. Consider it my entry into the world of journalism, which I have no intention of entering. Why write about peeing? Well, "Why not?" comes to mind, but I suppose it is because in recent conversations I have found that members of the other sex find 'amazing' things I assumed were common knowledge to all. I feel it is my duty to let ye gals know what goes on behind the door with the little male outline on it.
First let us talk about the wonderful world of urinals. Yes we men have the ability to pee standing up! You probably knew this. I suppose you do too, but we can aim and thus urinals allow us the ability to do so without making a terrible and unpleasant mess. Urinals are a fantastic invention that probably goes back ages (I'm not an investigative journalist). Urinal etiquette is something that should be followed by all men at all times. There are two types of urinal set-ups: The divider and the non-divider. Obviously the former is preferable unless you are a really creepy individual. In a divider situation the rules are relaxed, however alternate urinal positioning is still preferred. In the dividerless set-up a strict alternate (or "every other") choice should be used. This reduces the number of urinals that can be used at once but maintains a comfort level for all involved. If walking into an empty washroom with only three urinals, a man must never choose the middle urinal for this leaves no available urinals open for use (forcing other men to choose a stall). Regardless of divider presence a man must also never choose a stall if urinals (with empty-adjacents) are available. This leaves the impression the man is not comfortable with urinal use and thus will be looked at (rightly) as less of a man.
At times men might find themselves in a situation where "Stagefright" (as my homeboy Kev from Steinbach recently put it to me) sets in. This is most common when in a dividerless urinal system side-by-side with another man (let us assume/hope the other man came in after you and violated the urinal code). As you might have guessed this condition is due to the fact that peeing requires total relaxation and comfort with one's washroom surroundings. A man nearly rubbing elbows with you is enough to induce "stagefright" leaving you unable to urinate. Diving into this situation a little further we then can ask "What can be done about this?" Obviously standing against a urinal with one's pants undone implies a sort of "time limit". After several minutes of a curious absence of sound will arouse suspicion from other washroom attendees (most of all that guy standing too close to you). They are obviously starting to realize you have "stagefright" and thus will (rightly) determine you are less of a man. I have often found "trash talking" the space violator in one's head is enough to overcome the "stagefright". In the event too much time has elapsed the only remaining option is to of course pretend you have in fact finished and proceed to the washing of the hands. Further complication lies in the fact you have not yet urinated and still very much need to do so. A favourite tactic of mine is the "ridiculously long hand wash" used in the hopes the other guy is a quick hand-washer or, given his ignorance of the urinal code might even be a non-hand-washer. If this is the case a return to the urinal is possible. HOWEVER: this is only possible if the washroom is now empty. If there is anyone else in the room they will notice and question your second trip to the wall porcelain. I realize this is starting to seem complicated, and believe me it is. It is a burden us men must carry with us each and every day.
To address a question I'm sure some of you females are asking "Why don't you just do like we do? Pick a stall and pee sitting down? (thus avoiding the noise a stand-up stall pee-er generates and the demasculinity that follows). Seriously? LOL. Ok, I'm still laughing out loud, but to explain: We are men. Aside from our nuts and a Y chromosome, peeing standing up is about all we've got to hold on to. Those guys you see leaving the gym with super bulked up muscles are probably just compensating for the fact that they pee sitting down. You must also consider the physics of the standard toilet. The good people of American Standard know that men don't pee sitting down and thus have created a perfectly oval shaped bowl. A guy sitting down atop such a toilet has certain bodily protrusions that risk coming into contact with the bowl. If there is any part of your body that, as a man, you do NOT want touching the inside of a toilet bowl you can imagine what it is. Now perhaps I just have a larger appendage than most but... [ladies?]*
*SORRY NICOLE! I COULD NOT RESIST!!!
Ok, that covers most of the issues with urinals. Let us say that a man walks into a standard small-town restaurant bathroom and darned if there is no urinal to be found. It is considered rude in our culture to simply pee on the wall in such cases and thus the bowl must be used. Many problems arise here as well. Obviously our wives/girlfriends/sisters/mothers/female friends have trained us to raise the toilet seat before hand (and lower it post "freeing of our bladders"). Still we are looking at a two foot (approximate) distance from launch point to target. A lot can go wrong along the way. First one must stay focused on the task at hand. Did someone just knock at the door? Ignore it. Turning to see will only leave you an unfortunate mess to clean up. There is also the problem of partial blockage. Lint may be the culprit, but whatever it is we all know what happens when we put our thumbs over only half of the end of the garden hose... increased pressure and severely affected aim. This could be anywhere from a 10 to a 45 degree variance. The best defence is a quick correction of stance requiring cat-like reflexes. Even a new stance can leave the best of us vulnerable if the blockage suddenly becomes freed requiring a further reversal of stance.
To all of the young boys out there reading this post, I want you to know I was once where you might be now. Growing up in a world where no one taught you about washroom rules, urinal etiquette, or solutions to the problems most of us face on a weekly (if not daily) basis. I myself did not use a urinal until middle school (called "Juniour High" in my days) for my extreme anxiety about using them. I was made fun of by my peers and at times had wet paper towels thrown at me over the stall walls while chants "your a little girl" followed. Knowing sitting down was not an option I tried my best to use the "aim for the part of the bowl where there is no water" strategy. It worked with moderate success until I finally got up the courage to be a man and use the wall porcelain. Alas, I was a late bloomer. I did not start abusing alcohol until around the age of 21, which was also the time I first went to a bar. Perhaps related to this was that year also being the year I first kissed a girl and had a girlfriend. Now, at 27, I'm happily married and pee wherever the law will allow me to do so.
I await the telling of the female's perspective on the "behind the door with the human figure wearing a dress on it" at a future point. Until then I will assume it to be the gossip / makeup / partying / anything but using the washroom -fest I currently believe it to be.
...Oh, and I'm doing great medically and have had no issues in the past while. Life continues to rock only totally.
CHEERS!
--
Tom
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